


I don't want the world, I want you.

by NAW86



Category: malec - Fandom
Genre: A LOT of Angst, Adults, Angst, Childhood, Criminal Father, Depression, Drama & Romance, Friendship, Hurt, I suck at tagging, Lovers, M/M, Mental Disorders, Mental Instability, Murder, Orphans, Panic Attack, Sex, Smut, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide, Teenagers, cuteness, everything, friends to lovers to friends?, strong relationship gets tested
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-06
Updated: 2018-04-02
Packaged: 2019-01-19 05:57:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 14
Words: 40,580
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12404424
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NAW86/pseuds/NAW86
Summary: Warning - a dark story that contains all sides of darkness.An orphan who meets a friend abandoned by his parents. The struggle they both face to live a normal life, away from all the conspiracies and threats their past cast on them.They thought their love will help them reach safety , but is it strong enough?Warnings:Chapter 9: graphical smutChapter 10: the dark journey begins





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This story have been in my head for a while now and I haven't thought about the ending yet. Leave comments or kudos if you like it and want me to continue.. I dont normally take long to update so you will see another chapter in the coming few days. 
> 
> The picture below is I imagined my charcters to be ;)

[](https://imgbb.com/)

  
  
The crowded hallways of the hospital were suffocating him as he ran through them. He has been running for few minutes but it felt like eternity. Every cell in his body was burning with fear, with past scars coming to life and with terrifying helplessness. He kept looking for her, the voice that called him to inform him of what he never wanted to hear, ever _again_. Even if he found her he would never recognize her, he doesn’t know what she looks like, hell he doesn’t know what any of them looked like. He just knows that his mind is racing over every possible scenario that could’ve triggered his …  
  
_Magnus_

  
He heard his screams, he knows his voice, and he would recognize the sound of his agony among all the shatters and noise. He ran faster towards the room, he ran because he felt both of their lives were in jeopardy. The screams got louder, the begging was evident in his cries and someone must’ve been hurting him. Alec froze when he saw a woman outside the door covering her mouth with her hand, her tears were falling and she shook her head in fear. He looked at her for a second realizing that she is the one who called him.. but then she ran towards the exit and he stood there blinking.

  
_What was happening?_

  
Another scream came from the room and he immediately turned his head towards it, taking slow steps, fists rubbing his jeans and holding his breath. He saw him, his Magnus, laying in bed screaming, fighting against whatever those nurses were about to do to him, totally unaware of his presence. He saw him, hands tied to the bed to stop him from moving, his body is tensing and his veins were popping. He saw him, eyes closed, tears covering his face, toes curled, breathing frantically, his back is arching as if he is trying to push them away. _He was seizing and those two idiots kept on trying to inject him with something.._

  
  
‘ **STOP WHAT YOU’RE DOING RIGHT NOW’.**. Alec yelled as he barged in standing in front of the nurse holding the needle. He grabbed her arm and looked at her with all the anger in the world. She tried to push him away but he held tighter almost breaking her wrist. She jerked back furious and scared ...‘ **What** **do you think you’re doing!!!’** he yelled again. This time he wasn’t waiting for an answer. He left her wrist and shouted **’Go** **find a fucking doctor’.** The two nurses looked at him in horror and ran out of the room.

  
Magnus eyes were still closed and posture remained tense but he stopped fighting to get up. He felt hands around his tied wrists trying to set him free. Gentle fingers holding his, a smell of peace surrounding him and a soothing voice whispering. He knew it was safe to open his eyes now but he couldn’t look him in the eyes after what he did. He couldn’t see the disappointment he had caused, _again_. The fingers moved to his arms, slowly touching him, sending shivers of love and fear towards his already trembling body. Those same hands moved to his shoulders and he was pulled forward into a hard chest, to a heart that beats for him, to the one person he trusts. Alec arms were holding him like he was a piece of him, so precious and treasured. He could feel both of their hearts beating faster than they should. He felt Alec’s hand in his sweaty hair, massaging his scalp, a move he taught his friend years ago. He smiled through his tears and drove his face deeper in Alec’s neck.

  
Alec knew this will work, just holding him and saying the right things will work. He has done this before and he knew what his friend needed. He just didn’t understand how they ended up here. In a hospital with slit wrists and a panic attack that the nurses couldn’t even notice! He needed answers, he needed to know how he missed the signs, how he let it reach to this point but now wasn’t the time for questions. He pulled Magnus closer circling him with both arms tightly. He kissed the shoulder that was shaking under his lips. He brought a hand to Magnus neck then to his cheek pulling away a little to face him. He still had his eyes closed, his breathing was still a mess but he knew Magnus was aware of his presence now, how couldn’t he not be? ..

  
Alec brought his other hand to cradle Magnus face gently, fingers slowly wiping away the tears that were still falling. He looked at his face, capturing every detail, making sure he was still alive and breathing. He leaned closer, resting his forehead on the other’s ‘ **Open your eyes please’** he whispered low enough for only both of them to hear. Magnus trembling and injured hands moved to rest on Alec’s chest, close to his heart. Searching for his beat with his fingers, clutching at his shirt as he found what he wanted. Alec smiled out of relief because he knows that Magnus will count to ten now, a move he taught his friend years _ago._ As he heard one, two, three coming through his friend’s lips he sighed, relieved that this is working..

  
‘Seven .. ei ght .. ni.. nine ‘  
  
‘ **Ten** ’ .. Alec finished for him with a kiss to his already bowed head. His hands bringing Magnus face closer to his and that’s when he opened his eyes. Unsure, scared and embarrassed eyes were piercing into his soul and his only response was to smile again. Smile, because what he felt at this moment didn’t compare to what his friend was feeling. Smile, because his own fear doesn’t matter to what his shaking friend is experiencing. So he smiles..

  
**‘I’m sorry** ‘ was whispered through trembling lips and un-ending stream of tears. A face that once was his source of security is now paling in front of him, melting into the darkness and cruelty of this world. Alec smiled again and again, a smile warm enough to reach Magnus bones. He pulled his hands down to capture Magnus hands and bringing them to his lips, leaving two kisses on each of his bandaged wrists and then placing them back to his heart again ‘ **I’ve got** **you** ‘ he whispered while pulling his friend into another hug, wrapping his arms around him as he was protecting him from the universe.  
  
The doctor cleared his throat stepping in the room with the two nurses behind him. Alec looked at him with a death stare, still not letting go of Magnus who was clutching to him even harder now. Alec wrapped his arms harder around his friend as if he was sending them a message.. I’m not moving.

  
‘ **I heard there is a problem here** ‘ .. The doctor firmly stated.

  
‘ **Ask your nurses what they were doing** ‘ .. Alec said while gritting his teeth, he felt Magnus shift in his arms telling him to calm down a bit but he ignored it. He was mad, he was burning with anger at all of this. At the stupid nurses who were trying to inject him while he was panicking, they ignored his screams and didn’t even bother to mutter a word of comfort. He wasn’t gonna let this go. Alec never let anything go. Magnus knew that very well.

  
‘ **They had orders to withdraw blood and give him a stronger antibiotics. Now I understand he was having a panic attack and I apologize for what happened** ’ The doctor stepped closer in the room and stood close to the bed. He looked at Alec closely and gave him a look of assurance.

  
**‘ his wounds are deep and close to his veins, I guarantee we are not here to harm him or cause him any discomfort. So she will just do her job and we will leave him to rest** ’ his tone was now more compassionate as he saw the situation closer. He saw the way his patient was hanging to his friend, covering his face in the other man chest hiding completely. Alec nodded at the doctor and the nurse moved to their side. Alec’s attention went to the body that’s attached to his, burying his fingers in Magnus hair and whispering to him to let his arm out. As he felt Magnus fingers tremble against his shirt he added.. ‘ **I’m not going anywhere** ’ and Magnus let his arm stretch towards the nurse immediately.

  
And Alexander smiled.. a smile that didn’t reach his eyes  



	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Most of the story will be told in flashbacks so if you see ***** then we are visiting the past.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the kudos,comments and bookmarks you all made my day.
> 
> I have most of the story ready so I will be posting soon.

*****  
It was 1999 when a chubby white kid with big hazel eyes entered the foster home followed by a social worker. The kid stood there, staring at every face he saw, looking at every piece of furniture before he looked back at the woman behind him. He was lost, scared and obviously too young to realize that this will be his home from now on. So he started crying, his chubby cheeks turned red immediately, eyes filled with fear and mouth wide open. The woman instantly grabbed his hand and kneeled to his level “ Alec, darling its okay … look at the other kids they are watching cartoons “ she pointed towards the living area where kids were seated, now they were all staring at him and ignoring the TV. He cried harder as he gripped her arm and tried to turn her back with him, he wanted to go back home. She held his hand gently trying to stop him, a smile of compassion on her face “sweetheart, listen to me, you will be staying here for a while only, OK? “ he opened his eyes and looked at her, his cries still loud enough for the whole building to hear. She smiled reassuringly at him “ your aunt Sara will come to pick you up in a month, I promise” she wiped his tears that were still falling when an Asian small kid stepped closer with his palms open next to them “ do you want my chocolate or my crayons ?” both Alec and the woman looked at him.

  
Alec stopped crying and reached for the chocolate, the Asian boy walked back to his spot on the floor where his coloring papers were scattered and Alec followed him with a mouth full of chocolate “ and I want to color too “. The woman stood up and went to one of the supervisors **Camille** a bit relieved that the crying stopped when the other woman said “ I see he made friends with the little monster already” laughing to herself.

  
Needless to say Alec and Magnus became friends instantly and his aunt never showed.

  
………………………………………………………..

  
“Aren’t you gonna ask me what happened” his voice is barely heard if it wasn’t for Alec being so close to him as he helped him lay back on the hospital bed. Alec reached for the pillow behind his friend and adjusted it to make him comfortable before straightening his back and sit properly on the bed. He reached a hand to stroke the small purple bruise on Magnus temple “You’ll tell me when you’re ready”. Alec’s face was serious, his gaze was narrowed and his body was tense but he understood enough to give his friend the space he needed. “how did you know I was here?” Magnus asked again.  
  
“ a woman called me, said you were dying” Alec spoke calmly, still stroking Magnus face with the lightest touches. He spoke like it’s a causal matter, something that didn’t crush him to the core. His heart was a mess, he wanted answers, he saw Magnus two days ago and there wasn’t any indication that this was coming. He inched a bit closer “ I think she’s the one I saw outside your door, white hair and dark skin?” .. Magnus looked at him with tired eyes, red circles around them “ That’s Catarina, but .. She doesn’t have your number!” none of his friends ever met Alec , some of them have only seen his picture and that was the reason behind their last fight.

  
Alec leaned in placing a kiss on his forehead, he lingered there for a moment before resting his own on Magnus’ “ who brought you here ?” he whispered through the small space between their faces. He felt Magnus tense as his lips mumbled “ I don’t remember” .. he left his arm and placed it on Alec’s asking him to come closer, Alec could feel trembling fingers clutching at his sleeves “ I was in my bed ready to sleep then I woke up to find myself here with slit wrists, that’s why I panicked “. His voice was shaking with every word, his breathing was starting to shorten “I swear I don’t know how it happened” . Alec believed him; he always does because his Magnus would never lie. In the 19 years they’ve known each other they never lied to one another, when it’s good or when it’s devastatingly bad. “Maybe Catarina is the one who found you then?” he said while adjusting himself to lay down next to his shaking friend. “She doesn’t have the keys to my apartment “ They both looked at each other with a look they only know the meaning of. They both knew something was wrong, something isn’t adding up especially with the conversation they had two days ago. They knew the possibility of what they discussed could be true now but neither one of them wanted to believe it. It just can NOT true, not after everything they had to overcome.  
“ I’m here now, nobody can touch you” were the last whispers Magnus heard before he fell asleep curled in the arms of the one person he trusts.

  
……………………………………………………………………….  
“ We found drugs in his system, a new type we couldn’t identity among others” the doctor was holding a file in his hand showing Alec the substances they found. “ He doesn’t do drugs, the only pills he takes are antidepressants, and even those he stopped taking them a month ago” .. Alec was puzzled and parts of him believed those tests were fabricated for some reason but he let the doctor continue anyway. “ Tests don’t lie, Mr.Lightwood. we found traces of amphetamines and LSD both cause hallucinations and short memory loss.” Alec’s heart sank, palms started to sweat as he wanted to scream at the doctor to tell him this isn’t true but Magnus told him he couldn’t remember anything. So maybe this was the explanation he needed, maybe everything that has been happening is caused by drugs. He hated himself for wishing Magnus was an addict instead of the other thing .. because **THIS** they can deal with .. **That** most likely to kill them both.

  
  
*****  
“ are you gonna call him fat again?” .. said Magnus who was holding a boy in the corner of the playground with Alec chewing his sandwich behind him. The boy was terrified trying to free himself from Magnus grip “ No! NO I won’t “ as tears started to gather in his eyes. “ good because if he does what will we do to him, Alec?” but Alec was busy with food that he almost forgot the whole ‘lets get revenge’ on the bully scenario. “ ALEC” Magnus turned his head towards his friend angry.

  
“ I will sit on you” Alec said to the boy totally unfazed and rolling his eyes at his angry friend.

  
They let go of their hostage and walked back to the playground like nothing happened “ I love fourth grade already” Alec said with a full mouth of food and a smile bigger than the sun.  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think, good or bad please


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ***** are flashbacks - past events indicators 
> 
> In the next chapter you will learn more about the mystery behind the events in Magnus life. You might get an answer or two ;)
> 
> English isn't my first language so I'm sorry if somethings are not clear enough.

  
  
*****  
3 days ago  
  
“ Will you hurry up! Its 9 already” said Alec who was sitting on Magnus couch waiting for him to get ready. It was a Sunday night and he drove all the way from Pennsylvania to visit his friend, just like he’s been doing for the past 3 years. Ever since they both graduated University they tried to find a job in the same city or at least in the same state but that never happened. Every attempt they made to reconcile in one place has been a failed attempt. Since the day Alec left to university, he has done everything he could to stay in touch, he never spent a holiday away, he never spends summer with his friends, he always goes back home, to Magnus who never left New York.  
“ I’m done, lets go, grumpy “ said Magnus as he came out of the room dressed in black jeans, black shirt with black eyeshadow surrounding his beautiful brown-yellow eyes. Alec stared, because he always does when his beautiful friend is in the room. He looked him up and down, eyes lingering on the golden skin that’s showing before he stood up “ I’m not being grumpy, but your friends are waiting” .. he stepped closer until he was standing in front of his friend who was busy with his earrings “ it’s rude to keep people waiting” he pointed out with a finger towards Magnus open chest. Magnus looked at him for a second then walked past him to get his jacket “ uhm .. They aren’t coming, it’s just you and me tonight”.  
“What’s their excuse this time? “  
  
“ They got caught up at work”

  
  
“ Really!! It’s the fucking weekend, Magnus”

  
  
“ They work at a hospital , Alexander “

  
  
“ and what hospital is that, do you EVEN know where they work?” Alec’s voice was calm but frustration was evident in his posture. His arms crossed against his chest and his gaze was focused on his friend face. He has been trying to meet these friends for the past year but everytime they canceled with an excuse that he didn’t buy. It seemed like they didn’t want to meet him on purpose. At first he didn’t think much of it, but when it kept happening over and over, an explanation was needed and he was going to get it, Tonight.

  
“ I do “

  
“ Did you ever see them working there?”  
“ They are my friends, We go out, they come over, but we don’t do workplace visits yet” Magnus tone was sarcastic. He knew where this conversation was headed and he wanted it out of the way. He knows Alec has been dancing around the subject for a while now, so he wanted him to spill it out and get it over with. “ Right, yet they have been to yours, YOU told me that, don’t you find it a bit strange how every time I’m here they disappear!! Like they don’t even exist!! “

  
“ Do you think I’m making them up? “ Magnus spat in anger, he threw his jacket back on the chair and turned around to fully face his friend. “ You really don’t get it , DO YOU!!” Alec shouted throwing his hands in air. “ I never doubted you, not once our whole lives, It’s them I don’t trust”. He took few steps towards his friend “ Magnus, I searched them, both of them, they don’t exist” he looked at him trying to make him understand , pleading with his eyes to make him see but Magnus is just blocking him, he has been doing that for a while. “ not every person has an online profile, Alexander” was all he said.

  
“ You are the one who taught me that trust needs to be earned “ he reached out and touched Magnus hand “ what did they do to earn yours ? “ he asked calmly, not breaking his friend gaze because he wanted him to know how important this is. He has been hearing about Raphael and Catarina for a year now but never saw them, hell he didn’t even see a picture of them. Whenever he asked Magnus what he was doing, he’d tell Alec he was with them but when Alec is in town; they just vanish into thin air. He just wanted to understand how Magnus can’t see this as a warning sign; after all, he’s the one who taught him to always be on guard.

“ They are good people, Alexander! We talk, we laugh, we go out and it FINALLY feels good to finally be around people who are care free, who don’t know about my past or my inner demons.. They are just not ...”

“ me .. They aren’t me” with that Alec laughed and turned his back to Magnus walking towards the couch to grab his jacket. “ I didn’t say that, this isn’t about you” Magnus crossed his arms sighing “ I want to have people around me who care about me for me, not because they feel bad about my tragic past .. why can’t you see that?” his voice cracking at the last sentence, almost pleading. Alec was clutching his jacket against his chest, eyes closed, taking deep breath to control himself not to say the wrong thing, his back was still to Magnus “ I understand, I never meant to suffocate you with my .. attention, I just want to make sure you’re alright, that’s why I came here today even though I have a project to work on, but since you’re OK I’ll just leave” . He turned around locking eyes with Magnus for a second before he started walking towards the door, as he passed his friend Magnus stopped him by holding his arm strongly “ You came here because I told you I was seeing them tonight !! Oh my god, what is this supposed to be!! A fucking intervention!” he was shouting now, he was fueled with anger, he told Alec to let it go a million times but his friend keeps insisting to prove his point. They had their own share on unexplained events, things going the opposite of they wanted and things that were forced upon them but this was just a new level of paranoia. “ When did you become this untrusting paranoid jerk?” he shouted again with eyes filled with anger and that’s when Alec yanked his arm away harshly and looked back with the same anger “ since I met you “ ..

 

And with that he left without looking back.  
  
………………………………………………………………………………………  
  
Alec stayed up all night watching his friend sleep, his thoughts never stopped for a second. The whole thing reminded him of events he didn’t want to remember but he thought that was past them. Even after their fight 3 days ago, he never for once thought Magnus would hurt himself again. He never thought his heart would be put up to this test again. They have no one else in this world beside themselves; they survived because they had each other. He didn’t think or believe that he will survive a day with Magnus, he knew Magnus wouldn’t either. They are 26 years old men, each has a job and a life but they still talk on the phone every day, visit every weekend. They still have each other backs; they still protect each other so why is his friend willing to put a stop to that! His thoughts were interrupted when Magnus called his name. He got up from his chair and walked towards the bed, he stood there smiling at those gorgeous tired eyes he loved the most “ did you sleep well?” he asked reaching out for his friend hand. Magnus nodded and pulled on his hand asking him to sit on the bed “ What did the doctor say? When I can leave? “  
  
Alec sat and held Magnus hand between his, stroking gently, “you told me you stopped taking the antidepressants “ he said while looking at his friend and Magnus nodded “ he said they found a lot of substances , hallucinating drugs in your system” and with that Magnus tensed, eyes blown wide open, he tried to get up but Alec placed a hand to his chest pushing gently back. He just stared into Alec’s eyes for what seemed like an eternity, maybe he wanted to see if his friend thinks of him as a junkie, maybe he wanted Alec to tell him this was a bad nightmare, and he just wanted Alec to speak, to say anything. So Alexander smiled reassuringly at him, eyes soft and loving like they always are “ I just need you to think, did you take any other medications at all? Anything? “ his voice was judgment free as he continued to stroke Magnus hands “ uhm .. I’m only taking those sleeping pills”

  
“ Where did you get them from?”  
  
“Sebastian recommended them, so I asked my doctor about them and I got the prescription” it took Magnus a moment to meet Alec’s gaze and he knew they both were thinking the same thing. “ Did you take it yesterday “ Magnus nodded and Alec knew who he wanted to kill this week.  
  
*****  
“ I don’t know what I want to be when I grow up” said Alec as he was bouncing the ball on his knee. He got into soccer the moment he met Magnus in the foster home, it was their escape in the afternoon, everyday. They used to play for hours, ever since they were 8 years old. Magnus was really good, fast and accurate and he taught his chubby friend all his moves. He spent months training him and guiding him until they were able to compete equally but Magnus always one, it was his game. It wasn’t until they were both at the 7th grade that the PE teacher saw them playing in the playground, he spent hours watching them before he asked them if they wanted to be a part of the school team. They both auditioned for the team and the coach assured them they will be accepted. They went together the next week with their blue team uniform smiling and proud only to find out that Alec made it and Magnus didn’t. He never touched a ball every since..

  
“ We both will be lawyers” said Magnus confidently

  
“ Why lawyers “

  
“ because I will defend people like my mom, and you will defend people like me”

  
Alec smiled, that breath taking smile of his and placed the ball under his foot “ and we both have our way with words, we stand up for what’s right and we speak our minds” he pointed back to his friend who was sitting on the bench across him. “ Exactly, the way you defended Simon in front of the whole class the other day and you made them all apologize to him and return his glasses, it was impressive”  
“ I learned that from you”  
  
“ Nah , it’s in our genes, Alexander”

  
  
Alec became a lawyer, Magnus didn’t  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think, good or bad


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I hope this chapter answers some questions. There are a lot of things left to be explained and it will be clearer in the next chapters

  
Catarina was passing left and right in her small apartment, a million thought running in her head and no words will be able to translate them. How did they fuck this up! They were supposed to protect him, keep an eye on him and wait until the inventible happens.. This according to their sources was pretty damn close. Now, Magnus was in the hospital, Sebastian is in nowhere to be found and they have nothing but failure to report to their officers. She can’t even go check on Magnus without having to explain how she and Raphael barged in to his apartment and took him to the hospital; she won’t be able to explain how they knew he was meeting Sebastian at that specific hour. It was all a big mess now... a mess that she has no idea how to fix.  
“ We saved his life, Cat” said Raphael, who was seated on the small sofa in her living room. He doesn’t like this situation anymore than she does. He knows they failed, he knows they can’t protect Magnus now and some other undercover officers will be assigned to his case but he also knows, that they did their best. They were doing just fine before that blonde asshole ruined everything.

  
“ Our job was to keep tabs on him, yes, but we are cops we were supposed to keep him safe!” she stopped moving, head hung low, eyes tearing up and breathing heavily. She wanted to warn Magnus the minute they knew Sebastian was Valentine’s son, she wanted to tell him to stay away, to run but she couldn’t. Sebastian wasn’t even his name; he wasn’t even a civil engineer like he claimed or even gay. His name was Jonathan, he was an ex convict of doing illegal hacking and he had a girlfriend that was kidnapped by Valentine 3 years ago. He knew Magnus would lead him to Asmodeus who will lead him to Valentine. After all, they were partners in crime and running the worst, most devilish existing cult together. Sebastian wanted revenge against his father and he didn’t care who is hurt or killed in the process.  
“ We did the best we could “ even as he said the words, Raphael wasn’t convinced that they did. Cat looked at him, unable to contain her pain anymore “ Our best didn’t keep him from getting drugged, from almost dying .. getting raped” and with that she fell to her knees, covering her face with both hands and sobbed.  
“ We didn’t know if that happened, even if the videos show .. stuff, that doesn’t mean he was raped, Cat” he moved to where she was sitting on the floor and knelt in front of her. He was as lost as she was, but he needed to remain calm, to be able to think because while his friend is strong headed she was also very sentimental. She is grown to love Magnus greatly and a wrong move could shred everything they worked for into pieces. “ Look, there isn’t a thing we can do now, we need to report back to the station and give them the evidences”

  
Catarina agreed to the reporting back part, but the evidences will be handed to the one person Magnus trusts the most.  
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

Alexander closed the passenger door after his friend was seated comfortably. He got into the driver seat and fasten both of their seatbelts while giving a nod to Luke who was standing at the hospital entrance. He needed to get Magnus out of this place, so he called his late father’s best friend for a favor. Luke being a cop made arrangements for Magnus to be discharged so he can be in police protection, when in fact he was just going to be in Alec’s protection. The car started moving and both of them were silent, each sinking deep in his own thoughts. The radio was on, song after song, some they liked, some they hated and some they didn’t even pay attention to.

  
“ _I’ll be the one if you want me to_

  
_Anywhere, I would’ve followed you,_

  
_Say something, I’m giving up on you_ ”

  
And Alec switched the channel, clutching hard on the steering wheel as he made a turn towards the highway. “ I’m sorry “ was whispered as a weak hand reached for his tensed arm. The sound of his friend was weak, scared and unsure, everything that Magnus wasn’t. Alec relaxed a bit when he felt the touch lingered at his arm, he glanced towards his friend and smiled “ What for ?” .. Magnus eyes spoke before his lips did, and Alec knew what he was apologizing for.

  
“ for how I behaved, for the things I said , for the damage I caused .. in .. you” he glanced down then towards the window, removing his hand from Alec’s arm and placing it on his lap, next to the other injured one. He knows it wasn’t fair when he called Alec a paranoid jerk. He knows he wasn’t fair when he tried to shut him out. He knows he screwed up when he let his boyfriend plant seeds of doubts in his head, towards his best friend, his most devoted person. He was tired of letting the expected appearance of his criminal father determines how he lived his life, he was exhausted of watching the things he wanted slip away without an explanation. He just wanted to be normal, to feel unrestricted happiness for once and with the people he met last year, he finally felt that. Catarina, Raphael and Sebastian never asked him about his past, they never asked about his parents, they didn’t question him about his foster home years. They cared about the present Magnus, the person he is now and he didn’t want to lose that.  
What Magnus didn’t know is, they never asked because they already knew everything about him. They knew what he would lead them to. It wasn’t about him; it was about what they wanted. 

“ We both said hurtful things, for that I’m sorry too” said Alec while looking ahead. He couldn’t handle seeing those sad eyes again without having to stop the car and pull his friend into his arms. He might be hurt inside, dying a little even but his love for Magnus is beyond the boundaries of this earth. He slipped his hand from the steering wheel and held in front of Magnus face, a second or two passed before Magnus held it tightly in his. “ I .. Didn’t think I’ll see you again after you left” he adjusted in his seat to look at his Alexander, who still doesn’t want to have an eye contact, yet. Alec let out a shaky laugh, they’ve known each other for 18 years and Magnus still think he will leave him one day. “ if you telling me we can’t be together didn’t make me run, I guarantee you a stupid fight won’t either” .. Magnus heart sank at the sound of those words, the words that hurt both of them equally. His fingers loosen a bit around Alec’s hand as if he is giving him an out but Alec intertwined their fingers again reassuringly “ Magnus, I can’t live without you, its time you got that into your beautiful thick head” he turned his head to meet the unsure gaze of his friend, locking eyes for a second before looking back to the road ahead of them. “ I can’t live without you either”

 

_And Alexander smiled a smile that did reach_ his eyes.

 

*****

  
_2 years ago_

  
The club was shaking with the loud sound of music, the crowds swaying to the beats, bodies crammed on the dance floor not caring if they all bumped into each other. it was one of those nights where people let loose and drunken mistakes were made but not to Alec. He stood leaning against the bar, sipping his drink while his eyes focused on that captivating beauty in the middle of it. That lean body, the smooth skin, the golden eyes and those lips, damn those lips. He watched as his friend moved with the beat, how he gracefully controlled his body and how hot he looked doing it. Magnus kept glancing at Alec every few moment, catching his gaze and earning himself a smile from his friend. He was also waiting for a signal to make Alec’s cheating ex burn so when Alec slightly nudged his head to the left, Magnus made his way towards him.

  
He made his way through the busy dancing floor, staring right through those big hazel eyes he adored, a mischievous smile on his face that speaks trouble and Alec loved it. He stood an inch away from his friend, taking the drink from his hand and turning it to he can sip from the same spot Alec was drinking. He then placed the glass behind his friend and wrapped his arms around Alec’s neck, smirking as he got closer “ Hi “ he whispered between the small space between their faces but a whisper loud enough for the person next to them to hear. Alec’s eyed him up and down before returning his gaze to that beautiful face “ hey “ his arms going around Magnus waist to pull him closer as their lips crashed into a heated kiss. His hands slipping under that white sleeveless shirt to reveal golden smooth skin, he pulled his friend closer, pressing more into his arms. The kiss deepened as he captured Magnus lower lip between his, sucking hard before his tongue dove inside, tasting every inch of his “ friend” mouth. Magnus fingers tangled in his friend’s hair, his knee is between Alec’s legs while Alec’s hands travelled south now, pressing at his ass.. As Magnus tugged on Alec’s hair and was about to move to his neck he heard a voice saying “he left like 5 minutes ago, running like a sad chicken” , they both turned their heads toward Jace who had an eyebrow raised at both of them.

  
Alec laughed nervously while Magnus didn’t move or step away from his arms. He rested his chin on Alec’s shoulder and moved his arms to his friend’s waist. Alec was on the seventh heaven, just like he was everytime they kissed or made out. He loved him, he wanted him, he wanted every single piece of him but he wasn’t gonna pushing it. “Thank you, I honestly feel better now” he said loud enough for both Magnus and Jace to hear. He did, he really did, he never really loved his ex but he liked him enough to think they might have a shot. He was even planning on giving this relationship a chance only to find out Raj was actually sleeping with his secretary. He broke up with him immediately, not wanting to create any drama or fuss about it until Raj told him he wouldn’t find anyone better than him and alluding that Alec wasn’t worth it. He tried to get Alec back repeatedly, but putting someone down and asking them to give you a second chance won’t really work on your favor, especially when they have a protective Magnus in their life.

  
“ I’ll hurt those who dare to hurt you, always and forever” were Magnus words before he grabbed Alec’s hands and dragged him to the dance floor.

  
………………………………………………………………

  
They reached Alec’s apartment after 3 hours. He decided that Magnus will be staying with him in Pennsylvania until they figured everything out. Magnus didn’t argue or protest. He wanted to be close to his friend and he wasn’t ready to see anyone else. The hospital gave him a week off from work so that was covered, he needed the time and space that only Alec can give him. Jace wasn’t home yet so they had the apartment to themselves before the loud roommate shows up.

  
Magnus fell asleep as soon as he lay down on Alec’s bed. He was sleeping on his back, one arm on his stomach while the other spread wide next to him and Alec just wanted to take the invitation and lay there. He was exhausted, his eyes burning, his back aching and he was hungry. He took Magnus phone and plugged it to charge and took his and went to the kitchen to prepare some food.

  
He made carbonara and chicken salad for 3 people. He knew Magnus would wake up hungry and Jace, well Jace was always hungry. He prepared his plate, took a drink and sat on his comfy couch. As he was about to dig in his pasta his phone vibrated, he took it out and saw a text message from a number he didn’t recognize..

  
“ Meet me in the alley behind Java, in 20 mins. Come alone or you won’t know what I have. It’s about Magnus”  
He stared at his phone, reading the text few times, whomever this is they probably know something important, they also know that Magnus is here with him. He dropped his fork, grabbed his keys and ran through the door.

 

_If Alexander thought the last few days were awful, the ones to come will be even worse.._


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the most important day in their relationship. I broke my own heart writing this chapter. Sometimes I hate myself for loving to write pain and angst haha. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy it.
> 
> ( i cant access the site from my laptop, only through my phone which makea posting a real pain, anyone has the same issues?)

10 years ago

Magnus was walking back home on a calm Wednesday evening. He just finished his shift at the restaurant, a part time job he got few months ago. He was happy to have something to do after school. He wasn’t in the soccer team or any other afterschool activity. Alec was always busy with practice and games and he didn’t like hanging out at their foster home without him. He also wanted to buy his friend the phone he wanted so he looked for jobs until he found this one. The owner was nice, the customers loved him and he made more tips than the others. He saved every penny, he wanted to make his friend happy, and after all, Alec’s happiness meant the world to him. So he walked home with the newest blackberry he bought in a small white bag. He was going to give it to him tonight, to celebrate the goal he scored yesterday and well .. _Because he wanted to see that smile he lived for._

The moment he entered the house he was greeted by Camille, the supervisor who never smiled at him. So he didn’t acknowledge her presence even when she asked him why was he late! He walked to the living room and she followed closely tabbing him on the shoulder, he turned to face her “ What do you want” raising his arm questioning! She crossed her arms around her chest, shifting her weight to one leg “ watch your manners, young man! There is a social worker waiting for you in that office” she pointed with her eyes, returning her gaze on him “ She is doing a survey on foster homes, Alec is already with her, so behave yourself and don’t screw this up for us”. He sighed and went to his room to drop the bag before heading to the office to meet the lady.

 

He opened the door to see a petit lady, dark brown hair, dark brown eyes and white pale skin seated in front of Alec. She was holding a thick file in her lap and was in the middle of asking a question when she caught the sight of him. She froze for a millisecond before having a very fake and nervous smile on her faces. She pointed to the chair next to Alec and started going through her file again. Magnus gave his friend a “ what the hell is wrong with her” look and Alec shrugged and rolled his eyes.

When he was fully seated, she looked at both of them, her eyes shifting to the door and then back at them before she spoke “ What I’m about to tell you both can NOT leave this room, I could get killed and there is a target on your back already” she pointed towards Magnus while her eyes focused on Alexander. They both stared at her in shock, not saying a word, not moving a muscle. She drew herself closer, keeping her voice low, she continued “ I used to work with your dad, I was a part of his cult for 20 years. I believed in everything he stood for and I didn’t mind having some blood on my hands for the cause.. uhm the general cause. Until Asmodues and his partner kidnapped by baby girl, she was only 14 when they took her.. And I couldn’t get her back for years” her eyes shifted to the door again but when there wasn’t a sign of anyone outside, she took a deep breath and continued “ I managed to find her and we are on the run, he is coming after us, like he always does to those who betray him”

Alec was trying to comprehend what she was saying while Magnus already knows what his dad is capable of so he wasn’t surprised. What he didn’t get is, how this is any of their business!. After his mom left him at home, Asmodues came back asking about her, when Magnus told him she left he took all of his anger on his 8 years old son. He beat him, kicked him and threw him around the room then locked him in the bathroom for two long days. An anonymous call was made to social services and Magnus was rescued, when he stepped outside the bathroom he noticed the furniture were gone, the house empty. He knew then his abusive dad has ran away as well, but at least his mom promised him to come back for him.. He believed her.

  
_But she never did_.

 

I’m here to warn you, he will come back for you, he wants ... To get your mom back and he knows the only way to do so is by having you by his side”  
Magnus shifted in his chair, feeling his lungs weaken in his chest. He started to get the cold sensation of fear that crept through whenever he heard his father’s voice, the coldness that was always followed by pain, bruises and abandonment. The nights he spent hiding in his closet listening to his mother’s screaming and crying, felt so present. He knew his mom isn’t coming for him; he came to that conclusion years ago and was trying to be at peace with it. He knew his father didn’t want him either so he said “ if he wanted me why did he leave me and run away? Why didn’t he take me then?”

“Because he knew your mother wouldn’t come back if he was with you, with you here, he could easily catch her if she did” .. Alec looked at his friend who was clutching his fists on his knees, Then, looked back at the woman who looked more scared than Magnus was. He wanted to reach out and comfort his friend but for some reason he decided not to, not until they hear the rest of what she has to say.

She started gathering her stuff, collecting the fake survey papers she did with the other kids. Her phone buzzing in her purse but she ignored it. “ I want you to be careful, Magnus, Please! I can’t live with myself if I knew he ruined another innocent life with his cruelty” she stood up to leave “ is he going to hurt Alexander for being my friend?” his voice broke her heart, he was just a 16 years kid who is supposed to be thinking about his future, his next date and all the meaningless things teenagers want. Yet she stood right there telling him to watch his back because his evil criminal father was planning to destroy everything he loves, to destroy him. “ I have no idea what his plan for Alexander is, but considering your parents involvement with him, he might have something in store for you” she directed her words to Alec, who looked like someone had slapped him with a hammer. “ My parents .. uh .. how were they .. involved ?”

 

Alec knew all about Asmodeus criminal acts, he knows that he is the head of the strongest racist cult on this earth. He and Magnus have googled him, found at least a hundred crimes committed by him or his cult members. All in the name of the white race superiority, his crimes then moved to anyone who was different, anyone who didn’t meet their taste. They punished people for their “ sins”, they usually targeted high profile individuals so Alec never thought he or Magnus had anything to worry about. Until now ..

“ Your parents were among the first people to join the cult, they spent years at Asmodeus’ service, Until your mother was pregnant with you! They ran away, changed their names and wanted to raise you in a better environment. He tracked them and he killed them” Alec froze, his whole world shattered at her words. His brain wants to ask her questions but his body is so numb, his tongue so heavy and he just wanted to scream. Magnus stood immediately and knelt in front of his friend, he tried to catch his eyes but Alec looked at the wall, zoned out of this world. A knock was heard at the door before it swung open. Camille appeared with observing eyes, studying the expressions on the faces in front of her. She carefully slid past Jocelyn staring at Magnus who had his eyes set on his friends. “ What happened in here?” she asked to no one specific but none of them answered so she repeated herself again this time Magnus cleared his throat, trying to come up with a quick lie to dissolve this situation “ he is just tired, he didn’t eat anything all day” making his voice sound too casual and painting a genuine smile on his face .. a smile aimed at his friend.

  
_Camille and Jocelyn shared a look and later left_

Alec stood up suddenly causing Magnus to fall down and hit his head on the coffee table behind him. He just stormed out of the office to his room and closed the door. Not even the sound of his friend grunting with pain was able to stop him. He spent 16 years of his life loving his parents, the man and the woman that loved him unconditionally. He remember their smiles, their kind words, their hugs.. he remembers his first day at school and how his mother cried when she hugged him before letting him go in. he remembers how his dad used to buy him his favorite candy every Friday regardless of his mom protests. He remembers the last morning they had together, how they both dropped him to school and told him how proud they were of him, for being such a good boy, for being everything they wanted. Even if what the woman said was true, even if they were monsters at one point in their lives, the parents he knew were angels. He loved them, he needed them.. And Asmodeus took them away, _Magnus’ father took them away from him_.

 

  
Magnus sat on his bed holding his head in his hands, trying to even out his breathing, his heart was beating so fast, his fingers were trembling.. he didn’t want to hear his father’s name ever again, he never thought he would actually. His father made it clear that Magnus was nothing to him, he literally treated him like he meant nothing. He never hugged him, he never played with him, he didn’t teach him how to ride a bike, he never dropped or picked him from school. Ooh the school he had to miss on a lot of days because of the bruises covering his face. He didn’t want to think of his mother in the same light, but she wasn’t any better to him either. He loved her because she didn’t hit him, because she gave him food, because every once and a while she would help him with a homework. She never hugged him though, even when she saw him laying on the floor after getting his bones crushed by his father, she still wouldn’t touch him. He never understood what was so disgusting about him that both his parents treated him like an object, _a very unimportant ad worthless object_.

  
He clutched his shirt above his heart, feeling the frantic beats of that poor muscle; he rubbed his chest in circles trying to sooth himself. His fingers were shaking, failing him to achieve anything; sadness was taking over his body. Dark and deep rooted sadness caused by everything he tried to forget, of everything he needed to forget. He was alone with them, he is alone now, unable to love, unable to trust but he loves Alexander, he trusts Alexander.. and his father is taking that away from him as well. He wiped a tear from his face and looked for the small bag he bought earlier. He stood up and held the bag to his chest, he wants to talk to his friend, to tell him he’s here, he will help him get over this. He wanted to tell him even if his parents were gone he still have Magnus to lean on. He honestly just wanted to look Alec in the eye and make sure he doesn’t hate him, yet. He made his way to Alec’s door, hesitating before knocking at the door, _what if he doesn’t want to see him! What if Alec no longer wants to be his friend! A million what ifs_ but Magnus convinced himself that Alexander will always want to see him so raised his hand and knocked .. once .. twice .. and he opened the door.

 

The room was dark and he could see Alec laying there, curled on his side, his back to the door but he was awake. His breathing gave him away but he didn’t move or acknowledge the presence of his friend in the room. Magnus stepped in slowly, closing the door behind him; he stood there not knowing what to do or what to say. He just wanted to make his friend feel better, even if he himself was feeling the pain of a thousand bullets. He held the bag tightly and moved carefully to sit on the edge of the bed. He placed the bag on the pillow next to Alec’s head, stopping himself from touching his friend with all the strength he thought he had. “ I got you something “ he managed to say those words through a shaky voice that’s hard to get unnoticed, a smile on a face that carries the saddest golden eyes, stream of silent tears reaching his chin. He waited for his friend to react, to move or to say anything but Alec stayed still.

He was always used to giving Alec things, his chocolate, his crayons, his toys .. he taught him soccer and made him the star of the team. He did his math homework for him, he helps Alec study before he studies himself. He bullied those who bullied his friend, even threatening a life or two in the process. He needed to give his friends things, to make him love him, to make him want to stay his friend. He felt like a no body without something to offer and if Alec isn’t moved by his gift now then what else was he supposed to do.. but his friend still didn’t move .. maybe he can offer something else!

  
“ Do you want me to get you something to eat or drink .. I know you haven’t had dinner” his voice breaking more with every word.. His tears falling uncontrollably and a soft sob escaped his lips.. Alec turned.. Terrified of the state his friend was in, his strong confident friend. They looked at each other, one drown in sadness and the other drown in fears. Alec felt himself moving towards his friend, straightening himself to sit opposite of him. He could hear Magnus rapid heartbeat, he could hear the short fast breaths that were leaving his lips.. he looked down at his hands, shaking and nervously moving by his side .. he turned his eyes up to his friend’s face , his own hands reaching instinctually to wipe the tears away. The big hazel eyes looking directly into the golden ones, as he brought their foreheads together. “ Feel my heart “ he spoke into the small space between them.. a shaking hand made its way slowly to his chest , placed itself on his steady beating heart “ Now close your eyes and lets count to ten together, Okay?” he asked while stroking the remaining tears away with his thumps and Magnus nodded.

  
Once his breathing calmed Alec pulled him into a full body embrace. Wrapping him tightly in his arms, making sure he knows that Alec will never abandon him, he wouldn’t blame him for his father’s hateful crimes. He will never judge him for something he didn’t have a say in. Alec was here to stay, he was here to protect, he was here to .. love! And Magnus fingers were digging into his chest so hard it almost hurt but he didn’t mind. It was the first time he saw his friend cry, ever since he stepped foot in the foster home all the kids there had their fair share of crying days but Magnus never shed a tear. Even Alec was a crying machine in his first months there and few times after that but Magnus always had the “ break me if you can “ attitude. So Alexander held him tighter, hands moving up and down his back and Magnus let himself melt.  
  
“ I got you something” was said again but this time against Alexander’s neck. A hand reached behind him to grab the white bag and it was held between them. Magnus eyes still swollen from crying but a glimpse of hope was there, he nodded to his friend to take it and Alec did. Opening the bag he saw a black box, a Blackberry the newest version, the one he wanted, the one all the cool kids at school had. His eyes widened when his mind realized how much it cost, probably every single dollar Magnus made. He was about to protest, to tell his friend to return it, that he couldn’t accept something this expensive. When he saw the smile on Magnus face all his protests faded into thin air. He wasn’t going to scold him for buying him a gift, he just felt guilty that while he spends his time training and playing a sport he loves, Magnus is working his heart out to buy him something he said once he wanted. He held the box to his chest and gave his friend his biggest grins “ Thank you, This .. is .. too much, I didn’t get you anything though” . Magnus laughed sweetly before taking the box from Alec’s hand to open it “ You gave me my first hug, we are even” ..

  
Alec’s heart sank to his feet at those words, how can such a beautiful person, a beautiful soul be treated badly by the ones who were supposed to love him the most. He swore to himself that he will make his friend his priority, he will pay him back for every good deed he through his way. For all the love, support and respect Magnus gave him, Magnus will be loved, supported, respected and .. kept safe.

“ and it won’t be our last, because I’m not going anywhere “ and Magnus was pulled into a second hug.

……………………………………………………………………………………

“ Alexander “

  
A voice called for him as he entered the alley behind Java. He looked ahead to see a woman standing next to some emergency stairways. She was dressed in jeans and a blue t-shirt, baseball hat and big sunglasses. He could still tell it was the same woman he saw outside Magnus hospital room. He stood in front of her while she looked left and right to make sure he wasn’t followed by anyone. “ he is resting, don’t worry he won’t show up” Alec’s tone was bitter and dry. He didn’t like the mystery that surrounded her or the other two guys and he is certain they all are to blame for this.  
“ I don’t have much time, I’ll talk and you’ll listen” Alec nodded once, she reached for her pocket and pulled a phone and she took up a small bottle of pills from her purse. She held them in front of Alec who looked at the items suspiciously.

  
“ Sebastian is Valentine’s son, he used Magnus to lure Asmodeus and Valentine out of their hiding. On this phone you will find texts and phone calls records that prove what I’m saying, there is also two videos that he was going to use to trigger Asmodeus to make a move. Those are the pills that Magnus took, take them to a lab, get them tested” she started to walk away when he grabbed her arm “ You’re just gonna leave with that! I need answers” he was gritting his teeth, his face a boiling pot of anger.

  
“ what do you want to know?”

“ who are you! Who is Raphael! Why didn’t you take those to the police and what videos are you talking about? “

She looked over his shoulder and behind her before pulling her arm out of his grip “ We are undercover cops, If I take these to the station they will hide them and assign other undercovers to watch over your friend, they don’t care about what happens to him as long as they can get his father, Alexander!”  
“ It’s Alec for you .. and the videos?”

“ It’s of Sebastian and Magnus together in bed, he was going to use the sin of “ homosexuality” to draw Asmodeus to Magnus.. I don’t know if he has other copies somewhere”

“ Magnus never slept with Sebastian or anyone else”

_Except Alec_

 

They stared at each before she started walking backwards, shaking her head preventing her eyes from watering “ it wasn’t consensual, Alec” and she ran away from him and disappeared. Leaving him with news that could destroy his friend, his Magnus.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I had to end it with a cliffhanger this time, because things will start to move faster beginning next chapter. Also big stars for those who guess who's Camille's mystery friend on the phone.

  
Hours passed since Catarina ran away from him. He is still clutching the phone in his hand as he walks around the city. He probably walked miles and will need a taxi to get back to his car. He still didn’t open the phone, what Catarina said about the videos made his guts crumble, his brain freeze and his heart .. well his heart is too weak to handle this. He knew once he sees the videos he will have to tell his friend what happened that night. He hated to be the one to do it, to break Magnus even more than he’s already breaking. The years it took his friend to finally open up, to let himself feel and be felt, to accept the touch of love on his body could be erased now.. _and they will be back to square one._  
  
A part of Alec wanted to throw the phone away, to forget he ever met that undercover cop in a back alley. Maybe if he pretends he didn’t see her, that she didn’t hand this piece of evidence then he can also pretend nothing happened to his friend. He can pretend they are okay, safe and happy. The exact same things he wanted for both of them since the night Jocelyn talked to them. The night that changed every aspect of their lives, the dynamic of their relationship and their fate.  
  
He sat down at the steps of an old building. The street was basically dead, few lights flickering from the apartments in front of him. He closed his eyes and rubbed at the space between them. He was tired, sleep deprived and frustrated but he was going to do this. He was going to unlock the phone and watch his friend being … _abused_. He was going to burn his heart and soul by the horrendousness he was about to see .. but Magnus deserves to know the truth and he has to be the one to bring it to him. Letting his friend in the dark wasn’t an option anymore especially after all the lies and betrayals he had to endure.  
  
_So Alec took a deep breath and with shaking hands he unlocked the phone._  
……………………….  
  
It was almost midnight when he came back to the apartment. He could hear the sound of TV in in the living room. He really hoped his friend would be asleep still so he can avoid any conservation that may occur. His body tensed as he saw Magnus standing in the open kitchen and Jace on the Sofa watching something that sounded annoying. He wanted to smile when Magnus turned at him and said hi but he couldn’t .. his body felt like steel and his blood became thicker. He felt so heavy and cold. A literal coldness running through every inch of him almost paralyzing every human reaction he would make. So he nodded and looked somewhere else, he could still feel his friend eyes on him as he made his way to the living area. “ You look like shit “ Jace pointed with a finger from his place on the couch. Alec was about to tell him to shut up when he heard the sound of things moving in the kitchen, he turned around to see Magnus opening the cover of the pasta pan he made earlier. “ What are you doing!” his voice came a little loud and too stern for what he actually meant. Magnus looked at him blankly, gesturing with his hand to show the obvious. He moved to where his friend stood and took the plate and fork from his hand “ Your wrists “ he said in a softer tone hoping that Magnus would understand his concern. He put a good portion of pasta in the plate before putting it down on the kitchen counter. He felt his friend watching him, observing every move but he couldn’t bring himself to look into his eyes.

  
Magnus sat behind the counter, holding the fork with one hand while the other was fisted above his knee. He noticed how Alec is avoiding looking at him and how tense he is. He knows his friend is exhausted, he probably hasn’t slept since the day he came to the hospital. He probably didn’t eat anything all day either but Magnus knows Alec, he knows he’s hiding something. “Where did you go? “ a simple question that made Alec rub harder at the plate he was cleaning. He didn’t want to talk now, or maybe never but he can’t lie either. He turned around drying his hands with a small towel. “ I saw Catarina “ looking at his feet, he expected another question to storm out of Magnus lips but his friend stayed silent. When Alec looked up, he saw the golden eyes staring at him, a hint of fear and doubt shadowing his gaze. They looked at each other, trying to figure out what the other is thinking but only Alec knew that the truth will not come out now. He won’t lie, but he won’t tell the whole truth either. Magnus after a suicide attempt that he doesn’t even remember wouldn’t be able to deal with this. He just stopped taking his antidepressants after years of depending on them to get through the day, Alec won’t send him straight into that hole again.. _at least not yet._

  
So Alexander decided half a truth is the way to go for the time being, he straightened his back and walked few steps to be close to his friend. He also wanted to keep his voice down so Jace wouldn’t hear them. He trusted the blonde, sort of, but didn’t want him involved in Magnus’ life in anyway, because he was that protective. “ She gave me these “ he took the pills bottle from his pocket for Magnus to see and hid it again. “ I will take them to Ronger to examine tomorrow” he tried to sound reassuring, unfazed maybe confident but his voice came out bitter, cold and emotionless. He hated himself for showing the opposite of the tornado that’s currently taking place in his chest. He hated how instead of soothing words and compassionate touches, he is being distant and unable to communicate properly.

  
Magnus nodded slightly before he dropped his fork and let his hand join the other fisted one under the counter. He looked calm for the outsider eye but Alec knew the demons were back in his friend’s head. “ did she say anything else! You’ve been gone for hours” it was Magnus turn now to look down and avoid eye contact. He was sure Alec knows something; he knows his friend’s every move and gesture, after all, Magnus was the sole influence and witness to Alexander’s personality development. He knows him and what he sees now behind those hazel eyes is scaring every cell in his body. “ she did .. but we will talk later if that’s OK! I need to sleep if I want to function properly tomorrow” and Alec walked to his room, closed the door and left Magnus sitting there … _spinning_.

  
*****  
8 _years ago_

 

Everyone was announcing which university they got accepted in and what their plans were. The voices were excited, happy and full of hopes as they discussed their future with their friends. It was the end of school, a 12 years era of their lives and they are moving to something bigger and brighter. Magnus and Alec sent their applications to 6 different universities, law school is what they wanted, and that was their dream and goal. Magnus worked harder than any other student he knew, his grades were almost perfect and he was smart, confident in his ability to get accepted wherever he wanted. So he aimed high, and applied for top universities. Alec struggled with subjects like Math and Physics but he also had a great record, not as good as Magnus though which made him a little nervous about their choice of universities. They planned to study in the same city, finish their bachelors with honors then move to Stanford for their law degree.

 

The plan might be .. mostly .. Magnus thinking but Alec loved it. He was excited to finally break from their foster home. Living and exploring life with his best friend, the idea of becoming a lawyer, a defender was very tempting to him. He would always imagine himself putting Asmodeus behind bars and having his pictures published in newspapers with a catchy statement, that thought gave him motive, a purpose he really needed.

  
Five of the universities already sent them the results, he was accepted and Magnus wasn’t. every rejection letter craved a scar in his friend, but Magnus never stopped hoping. He would smile and tell Alec to wait for the next one. Until Camille came holding the last university response in her hand, two big envelopes, one bigger than the other and Magnus knew his answer. He took the envelope and gave Alec’s his. This was the University of Chicago; the one Magnus was excited about the most. Alexander opened his slowly; he wasn’t excited to see his friend face rejection again. He didn’t want to see his friend pretend to be OK for Alec’s sake and most importantly he didn’t want to leave without him. So he took out the papers and started skimming through it until he announced “ not accepted” and looked over to his friend, who is now watching him with wide eyes. Streams of hope rushing through his soul, maybe his envelope was bigger because they sent him applications to fill and not because they returned his papers like always. He saw a small smile on Alec’s face as he told him to open the package already. Magnus hand shook as he took a deep breath, he found himself smiling too, maybe he isn’t a failure after all. He stumbled a little with the papers until he found the one with the result, he read carefully, he read again, and again, until the smile faded and was replaced by that fake ‘ its fine ‘ look. _He wasn’t accepted_.

  
  
6 universities have rejected him for no obvious reason. They all stated that they couldn’t take more students even though he mailed them early. His heart sank to his feet and he sat back against the couch. The rejection didn’t just mean he will be stuck in the foster home when he is already 18, it meant he will stay alone, without his Alexander, without .. anything. “ I’m not leaving without you, we will wait until the next enrollment start and apply again” a hand reached to his and he held it tightly. He saw the distress in Alec’s face, the fear of having to face the world alone but at least he had a world to face, Magnus had nothing. He found himself comforting his friend, telling him he has to go, find his way, live and be happy. He told him how proud he is of him and that he will always be his friend. He talked for hours, trying to convince Alec that this was for the best that the universe has different plans for both of them and they should accept it and make it work.

  
_But all Alexander could feel is, he is stealing Magnus’ dreams.._  
  
After watching the whole scene Camille held her phone and went to her office, she dialed the number that she hates dialing and waited… when the voice on the other end was heard she spoke quickly “ I made it happen, he got rejected again so you better find him a university that will accept him here” she took a long breath and placed her free hand on her chest “I will not let you take away his education after what we’ve already taken from him” she waited for other person to respond in agreement before she hung up the phone.

  
  
_She hated herself for what she did but she had to make sure he’s safe.._

  
……………………………………..  
  
Jace was asleep on the couch, Tv showing an old movie and time seemed to slow down with every ticking minute. It’s been two hours since Alec went to sleep and Magnus just sat on the sofa deep in his thoughts. Every possible scenario of Catarina’s visit playing in his head, and he shook it off every time his brain went to a dark place. He felt bad for himself, for still hoping that she and Raphael were his real friends. The fact that neither of them called or came to check up on him told him how wrong he was about them. Sebastian didn’t even leave a message; its like Magnus didn’t matter to the three of them, like he never did. He hated that he didn’t listen to Alec when he warned him, Alexander was right and it’s probably why he’s avoiding him now. He glanced at the clock, 2 a.m, he wanted to sleep but he was planning on waiting until his friend went to work. He knew Alec wanted to be alone and he decided to give him that space, even if it meant sitting on a chair for 8 hours.

  
A beeping sound came from his phone, a text appeared “ _Come to bed”_ with Alexander name on top. A small smile found its way to his lips getting rid of those dark thoughts he was just having.

He walked to the room quietly not wake Jace up, he opened the door to a pitch dark room, using the lighting from his phone screen to see on which side his friend was before closing the door.  
Alec felt the covers at his feet being lifted and something was crawling on top of him. He rolled his eyes when Magnus head appeared in front of him, his friend was completely on top of him, his arms bracing his body on both sides of Alec. “ I know you rolled your eyes at me, even if I can’t see it” Alexander traced his fingers to Magnus arms and brought them down, making him lay flat on top of him, a way of telling him to be careful with putting pressure on his wrists. “ That’s not how normal people climb into bed” his tone was softer than before, he felt guilty for being so cold and distant even if it lasted for few minutes. _With Magnus he was a helpess softie.._

  
Magnus rolled into his side, ignoring Alec’s concern about his wrist and resting his head on his elbow to look at his friend “ Are you okay?” a question Magnus knew the answer to but he had to ask anyway. Alec shook his head a little before whispering a No. He wasn’t going to give him details on why he wasn’t feeling OK. He wasn’t going to talk, not now, not anytime soon probably and Magnus understood that. Even if the matter on hand concerns him and is in fact about him, he wasn’t going to push it until Alexander was comfortable to talk.

He layed on his back, stretching an arm to touch Alec’s scruffy face “ cuddles?” and Alexander snuggled to him. His head hidden in the crock on his friend’s neck, arm tight around his waist .. he felt those long tanned fingers stroke his hair, soft lips pressed against his forehead.. Magnus was taking care of him and he felt himself relax … he felt his eyes getting heavy as an “ I love you “ escaped his lips and a sweet kiss planted on his nose.

  
………………………………

  
In New York  
  
Camille was found dead in her apartment, blood forming a pool around his figure. Pictures were taken, fingerprints were lifted, blood and hair were pulled from under her nails and a golden bracelet was put in a plastic small bag.  
Wide panicked eyes were watching, loud breathing and stumbling fingers sending a text message to Magnus..  
  
“ **RUN** ”  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Your feedback gives me motivation, thank you.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I just wanna say I love you allllll. This chapter has no flashbacks. So enjoy.

  
Alec woke up before the sun rose, a couple of hours of sleep with the events of the past few days taking a toll on his brain. He made sure to prepare some breakfast for his friend before heading to meet Ronger, the lab expert who has been helping him a lot with his cases. He gave him the bottle of pills with clear instructions to bring him the results as soon as possible. He then headed to his office, which he’s been neglecting for days now.. An angry boss is really not what he wants to face at the moment. After a very cold lecture and warnings from Phil, he went to his desk and started going through the files hoping to get some work done.

  
In all his attempts to focus or be productive his mind kept drifting to the videos he saw yesterday. He needed the lab results before telling Magnus. He also needed to know for sure how those videos played a role in his friend slitting his wrists. How Catarina was able to get Sebastian’s phone in the first place!

  
He opened the phone, clicking on the first video; the camera was away from the bed like it was placed on Magnus’ dresser. The footage was cut with both of them still on the bed. The second video was the same story; it was only 20 seconds, 10 seconds shorter than the first one. Alec could clearly tell they were cuts from a longer video which obviously he doesn’t have. He dropped the phone back in his pocket and held his own out. He dialed back the number Catarina texted from, but it was off. He tried the number she called him from on the night of Magnus “suicide “.. it was off as well.  
  
_How many numbers did she use_!  
  
A few ticking minutes spent with frustration, he decided on lifting all the finger prints from the phone, ask a cop to run it in the system and he’ll be able to find out her real name and maybe an address. He almost laughed bitterly at himself, finding a cop who is willing to help without an explanation is almost impossible. He didn’t want to involve Luke or ask him for any more favors but he doesn’t have a second option. _He can always trust Luke_ ..

  
After few civil exchanges he cut through to the point “I hate to keep asking, but I need a favor”

  
“Name it”

  
“I have a phone given to me by an undercover cop, she holds more information that I really need to know, so maybe you can lift the fingerprints ... find out who she is!”

  
“I’m afraid I need more details, Alec”

  
Alec sighed and filled him on everything, not leaving a single detail out. If there is anyone on their side then its Luke, and he will surely help them find the answers they need. He has always been a fatherly figure to both of them, but he was closer to Alec. “Alright, I’ll come over tonight to your place, prepare me a nice dinner” Luke sounded concerned and Alec was relieved. He made sure to tell him that Magnus doesn’t know about most of this so they agreed on pretending it’s a friendly visit.  
  
_Luke hung up the phone and turned to face the woman behind him “he’s looking for you”. Catarina wanted Alec to find her, she wanted to tell him more but her boss won’t let her. She felt helpless standing there, knowing that an innocent man is being framed of murder he didn’t commit_

  
…………..  
  
“I can’t believe you were going to tell him to run! Are you that retarded” Raphael snared at her as they left Luke’s office. He didn’t want Magnus harmed but he also didn’t want to ruin the work they’ve all done because of emotions. He already stayed quite about her handing evidences to Alec; he wasn’t going to let her get away with another stupid move.  
  
“We were outside his building, we know he was there at the time of the crime, how can you not see it!! “She grabbed his arm and dragged him to an empty office, closing the door behind them.” He is being framed, and he is innocent. We started this whole fucked operation to get Valentine and Asmodeus. Nobody has told me I will be destroying lives in the process”.

  
Raphael’s gaze was so intense it almost burnt her. He didn’t know if he should be mad that she is letting her emotions control her or that she thinks he’s okay with the all decisiveness around them “ You’re lucky I caught you before you hit sent, you would’ve made him a fugitive and he’ll look guilty enough for the whole country to look for him, Tell me how is THAT helpful?!! “ he stepped closer to her, keeping his voice as low and calm as possible “ one more wrong move from you, and I’ll report you myself. I will NOT lose my job because of you”.

  
……………………

  
Alec met Ronger at a café near his apartment; it was kind of the older man to actually wait for him until this hour instead of going home. He handed Alec the results which he obviously didn’t understand. Ronger smiled and pointed at the substances in the second page “Remember the pills you brought me 2 months ago, the guy who killed his girlfriend?” Alec nodded. “ It’s the same drug but more developed” .. Alec looked confused, he remember that case clearly, the guy was charged with murdering his girlfriend of 5 years, but he insisted he didn’t remember anything and kept saying he was asleep when it happened. The tests showed TDH in his system, a new drug that causes blackouts and hallucinations. “What do you mean developed?” he asked.

  
“ Do you see the percentage here and here “ Ronger talked while pointing at two columns “ not only does that make you see things, it basically control your movements, it makes a person almost unable to move or react” he stated while eying the terrified expression on the young man face.

  
“That’s why they think they’re sleeping..When in fact they are awake but not... There?”

  
“ Yes, it’s a very dangerous drug and I haven’t seen it before, well other than that case and now” Ronger was a smart man, he knew this was a personal matter to Alec considering the place they are meeting at but he had to ask “ does the police know about this?”  
  
“ They do” _Alec didn’t lie, not completely because Luke knew._

  
………………….  
  
“Make your move so I can make mine, no point in arresting him before those videos are published” his voice was irritated; almost disgusted with the person he was talking to. He kept convincing himself that this was his last chance to catch those two criminals, so he will use every legal and illegal method to do it. All the efforts they put over years have failed, every time they got closer, a new discovery appear that send their operations to ground zero. It wasn’t just a cult anymore; it’s a radical criminal organization that has hands and legs everywhere. Big names were linked to them, companies under their control; they even have people in both the FBI and police force. He didn’t know whom to trust or what to do anymore, but one thing he knows for sure, is exposing the Asian son of a racist cult leader as a homosexual, then have him charged with killing a white female will sure create enough buzz for them to make a move.

  
“ I will, once I’m sure there is nothing linking me to Camille’s case” .. his cold tone only added to his creepiness. He speaks of a murder like he would speak of a boring movie. Sebastian wasn’t scared; he wasn’t even worried of being charged with killing her. He wanted revenge against his father for all the pain he caused him, for leaving them when they were kids, for depriving his mother from a normal life. He wanted revenge for every day his mother worked 16 hours, two jobs and exhausting shifts to be able to provide them with a decent life. He wanted revenge for how his mother is now old and sick, unable to leave her bed after 20 years of hard work and pain. He and his brother had to do illegal things to afford her treatments. They had to depend on themselves at young ages after their family from both sides ditched them for their father’s crimes. Most importantly, he wanted revenge for his girlfriend Sara who got kidnapped and he has no idea if she’s even still alive, just because she is a latina.  
  
“ You are in the clear, his fingerprints, blood and bracelet were in the crime scene, when you publish the videos let me know” and Luke hung up hating himself even more than he already did.  
An hour later a dozen of articles all over the internet appeared titled “ The leaders of Skinheads won’t like this”

  
……………………..

  
Alec entered the apartment to the sound of his friend’s laughter, Magnus was on the couch and Jace was in the middle of the room. Jace’s hair was messy and he was obviously doing an imitation that Magnus was laughing hysterically at. Alec stood there amused until Jace turned to him and started laughing. “What are you two laughing at?” he raised an eyebrow at both of them. “ I was just showing him what a delightful soul you are after a hangover, hence the hair” he pointed to his head.

  
Alec rolled his eyes and walked to sit next to Magnus, a little smile on his face “You aren’t supposed to let him make fun of me” but he was happy to hear his friend laugh, a sound he always linked with everything that is good and pure in life. “But you are a delightful grumpy cat, Darling” Magnus nudged him in the elbow before leaning in to kiss him on the cheek. His face still flushed from laughing, and Alec never seen a prettier sight.. He was about to lean in and steal a real kiss when Jace launched himself in the small space between them. Magnus laughed again and Alexander just glared “ how come your never kiss me when you get home” he threw an arm over Magnus’ shoulder and looked at Alec “ it wouldn’t kill you to smile and make me breakfast either” Jace was teasing but his face was serious.

  
“ I am not your pet, make your own breakfast” Alec spoke coldly while getting rid of his shoes

  
“ but you made Magnus breakfast, why discriminate”

  
“because he is my cute pet” Magnus responded lightly, earning himself a smirk from Alec who shook his head at the stupid conversation they were having.

  
“ I’ll be your pet too if you braid my hair” Jace sat on the floor between Magnus legs and Magnus started dividing his hair with the comb, Alec didn’t even want to know what both of them were doing with all the stuff they had splashed out on the coffee table. “ Magnus your wrists” he sighed

  
“ Alexander, I’m fine”

  
  
And he let them be. He changed his clothes, took a shower and started preparing dinner. He hoped he’d be able to finish before Luke shows up so he can talk with his friend for a while. He keeps hearing giggle and laughter behind him, and he was grateful for Jace attempts to make Magnus smile. Jace might look like an arrogant jerk but he has a heart of gold, and the fact Magnus likes him and feel comfortable around him made Alec’s heart warm up more towards the blonde.  
  
He finished the food and went back to the living room, a little bit scared of the scene in front of him. Jace was on the couch, head titled to the back and Magnus was standing next to him applying makeup. The palette had glittery popping colors that even shiny Magnus doesn’t use. “ what are you doing to him? “ he stepped closer to examine the damage. He saw glittery green and silver and maybe a hint of purple and he was terrified. “ Relax, we are experimenting, we are aiming for a dangerous look”. Alec chuckled behind him “ this is horrendous” .. the door bell rang and Alec told them both to stop fooling around.  
  
Alec opened the door smiling to Luke, the smile faded away as he noticed two cops standing behind him. He was about to ask why they were here when Luke and the two officers barged in the flat. Magnus turned his head and Jace stood next to him, the room was silent for 3 seconds before Luke gestured his hand towards Magnus “ Arrest him”.  
  
The two officers immediately moved and held his hands behind his back “ you have the right to remain silent, anything you say can … “ Alec cut in “ What the hell, luke! What is going on “ he looked at the older man then to his friend who was wide eyed staring at Alec.  
Luke waited for the officers to finish reading him his rights before he spoke “For the murder of Camille Belcourt”  
“ What! We didn’t know she was dead! You can’t just come here and arrest him”  
  
“ She was murdered, your friend here left behind solid evidence” Luke spoke confidently, avoiding Alec’s presence and focusing on Magnus, who seemed like blood stopped running in his veins.  
  
“ You didn’t even question him, you didn’t even ask me or mention it when we spoke! You’re not allowed to arrest him since you’re not a Pennsylvania cop as well” Alec was shouting, he was fuming with anger.. his anger fueled more when saw one of the officers push Jace hand away when he tried to touch Magnus.

  
“ These two are from here, so I can arrest him.” He waved for the officers to move, they started dragging Magnus who looked stunned and terrified. He looked at Alec as he was dragged out of the apartment, eyes pleading not to be left alone. Alec followed them and stopped in front of Luke “ too many violations and I’m getting him out tonight, You really shouldn’t be making those mistakes in a lawyer apartment” he made sure to give Luke his best stare down look then he turned his head to his friend “ I’m right behind you, I promise I will not let them get away with this” Magnus nodded slightly trying to form a confident smile to reassure his friend. They dragged him to the elevator and Alec felt a hand on his shoulder “ let’s go” and followed Jace towards the stairs.  
  
…………..  
  
“ Your disgusting sad excuse of a son, your fucking pathetic son is having sex with mine” Valentine shouted while pacing in front of Asmodeus. The articles went viral in minutes, the videos were downloaded by thousands of people, twitter, facebook and instagram, people were mocking them for their sons’ actions. After all what is worse than having a kid who is the total opposite of everything you fought for. “ and he killed Camille too, a white superior woman to his .. Disgusting kind” he continued with flames in his eyes.  
  
“ Your son isn’t any better, he looks pretty happy in the video, besides didn’t he date a latina before! “ Asmodeus wasn’t happy with Magnus’ “actions” but he wasn’t going to let Valentine feel any better either.

  
“ I want them both, I’ve let them free longer than they deserved, and it’s all because of you and your sympathy towards that abomination, if you killed him 18 years ago we wouldn’t be in this humiliating situation”  
  
“ I’m sure your son would’ve came up with something” Asmodeus responded bitterly.  
  
“ I want them both dead, I will not lose the respect of our people because of them, find them and inform me, I will kill them with my bare hands... MOVE” he shouted at five of his members before returning his focus to his partner in crime “ You don’t sound as disgusted as you should be”

  
“ I’m just getting sick of your rants about Magnus when in fact you let your son run free, conspiring against us… I tortured mine, I beat him up and it happened right in front you.. he knew better than to come look for me, but yours!! How many fucking cops informed us of his actions? Of his plans to bring us down”  
  
“ I take it you don’t want to be a part of ending them? “  
  
“ don’t mistake my words, I want him dead just as much as you want yours”

 _Asmodeus knew Valentine didn’t want Jonthan dead_  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Your opinion matters ❤️❤️


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay, I was torn between two scenarios that I actually had to draw a map haha. I also think there will be more chapters than I previously planned.
> 
> New charcters are introduced, pay attention to them ;)

The drive to New York was a silent one, Alec sat on the passenger seat and let Jace drive his car. He needed to think, to organize his thoughts, he was making mental notes of all the violations Luke made .. he wished he had a pen and a paper, or even the luxury of time to be more confident in himself.

His phone rang breaking him out of his thoughts, an unknown number .. he picked up to hear Catarina's voice..

" Alec, they are framing him" she said. He sighed and rubbed his face with his hand, " do you have anything to add to that?" He asked. He heard few whispers on the other end then a man's voice came into the line " Can you meet us in Magnus apartment ?" The man asked. He assumed its Raphael so he agreed on meeting them before going to the police station, he needed any useful information to strengthen his case.

" the videos have been published" Raphael added. It took Alec a moment to realize what he was talking about, the videos which he didn't even get the chance to tell Magnus about yet .. " I .. I will see you guys in one hour" he said before ending the call. Dropping the phone between his legs and leaning back into his seat, he covered his eyes with both hands, almost trying to hide himself from what's gonna happen soon.

" and Magnus?" Jace carefully asked.

" Magnus can wait, I need all the info I can get"

.................................

The police car arrived at the station, Luke opened the back door and literally yanked Magnus arm with all of his strength, pulling him out. Once he stood outside the car he was pushed by Luke to walk towards the entrance. Magnus didn't say a word, didn't even flinch at the coldness of Luke's actions, he just walked, following the officer in front of him.

He was seated in a small interrogation room with a simple desk in front of him and two chairs on the other side. Luke sat in front of him, and motioned for the officer to close the door and step inside..

" where were you on the 14th of this month 5:00 PM?" He asked folding his arms on the table. Magnus just looked at him and didn't say a word.

" I asked you a question" Luke added.

" I'm not saying anything without a lawyer" Magnus stated calmly. Luke leaned across the table and yanked the handcuffs harshly, he looked at Magnus wrists for a moment then pulled at them again, making sure he bled. Magnus winced but kept his gaze calm and direct at Luke's face.

The officer made a move to interfere but Luke shot him a look to stay away " Answer me, before it gets too complicated for you" Luke angrily shouted, when he saw Magnus resistance to speak he let go of him and stood up. Walking towards the officer and whispering something into his ear before leaving the room.

Magnus prayed a certain someone doesn't break their promise..

....................

" Bane is in police custody" zach spoke to Valentine who was standing in the huge common hall of their residence. Zach was his left hand man, the one he trusts to do all of his dirty work without the knowledge of Asmodeus.

" Is he charged yet?" Valentine asked.

" As far as I know, No" Zach responded, Valentine seemed like he was considering his options. If Magnus gets charged he could send someone to finish him off in prison but that could take months. If he gets released he can go himself and get the job done. Something he wanted to do for so long, ever since Magnus' mother ran away with the documents he wanted the most.

" keep an eye on the case and inform me if anything changes, the Lightwood kid, I want him too" he spoke before turning to leave .. " What about Jonathan, sir?" Zach asked.

Valentine turned his head towards the guy " What about him?" He acquired.

" Don't you want to find him?" Zach carefully asked.

" Of course I do, see what you can find about him as well" he flashed a smile and walked away.

_Valentine didn't want his son found .. or dead_

...................

Alec and Jace arrived to Magnus apartment to find Catarina and Raphael already there in the living room. The four of them looked at each other for a moment, none of them said a word.. Until Jace cleared his throat and asked where the bathroom was so he can wipe the makeup from his face .. leaving Alec alone with the two cops..

" When did the murder happen?" He asked both of them.

" On the 14th, between 5:00 PM to 7:00 PM" Catarina responded.

They all were still giving each other uncomfortable looks, wary eyes roaming in all directions. " How do you know he's being framed?" Alec asked again.

Catarina took a shy step closer to him but kept a safe distance " because he was at home at that time, we were outside his building the whole time, until we .. uhm .. found him bleeding at around 10:30 PM"

" and Sebastian, was he with him?"

" He came around 8:20, but when we went up to Magnus apartment he wasn't there, we didn't see him leave either" she said.

She took another step towards him, her eyes were apologetic, face soft " Did you check the phone I gave you?"

Alec kept his gaze focused on her face, stern and serious as if he was trying to catch her in a lie. " I saw the videos, and they are cuts from a longer video, how did you find the phone anyway?" He interrogated.

" It was next to Magnus when we found him, it only had those videos and few texts and calls to a number we couldn't trace" she explained.

A dry chuckle was heard from behind " maybe .. just maybe if we gave it to the station they could've traced it" Raphael added sarcastically. His arms were folded and he looked like he didn't want to be here.

Alec let the dry comment slide, he took the phone from his pocket and opened the texts .. Sebastian sent few texts to the same number, they were mostly pointless, one of them though, sent on the 14th, was asking the other person to free their schedule for the day..

" I don't see how this is helpful at all, nor do I see the videos working in our advantage! Unless we can retrieve the whole thing" Alec spoke his thoughts.

" if the video was taken by this phone, I can probably retrieve it, if I can find a laptop" Jace said as he walked back to stand next to his friend.

Alec moved around the living room to get Magnus' laptop from his desk. He gestured to Jace to take it, then turned his attention to the two standing in front of him " What was the murder weapon?" He asked them.

" A 9x19mm pistol, registered under someone named Elias Chong" Catarina answered. " we actually found the registration paper in Sebastian's apartment, but we gave it to the station".

Raphael took out his phone with hesitation and scrolled through some pictures, before handing it to Alec " I took a picture of it" he said.

Alec looked at the screen, reading the information of this Elias person, the hand writing looked familiar so he read it again, and again. Catarina noticed the expression on his face and stepped closer beside him " do you recognize the guy?" She asked.

Alec shook his head and handed the phone back to Raphael. " Are you two willing to testify that Magnus was here during the time of murder?" He asked tiredly.

" I think its pretty obvious that we are" Raphael calmly stated.

" The laptop recognized the phone" Jace spoke from his spot on the couch. The three turned their attentions to him waiting for him to continue..

He looked up at them, then shifted his eyes to Alec " it means the phone has been accessed from this laptop before"

" Jace, stay here please and see what you can do, I have to get to Magnus" Alec clutched his fists and started walking to the door, his mind doing quick calculations, small pieces of the puzzles falling into place .. and he hated those pieces .. he hated where they were taking him.

Catarina and Raphael followed giving each other a questioning look, they both knew Alec was hiding something.

......................

" Jonathan is actually roaming the streets without any fear, he was spotted in different places around Manhattan those couple of days" David informed Asmodeus. David was as important as to Asmodeus as Zach was to Valentine.

" He wants us to get him, that prick" Asmodues sighed getting out of his chair to pour himself a drink.

" Do you want me to bring him in, Sir?" David asked.

Taking a sip from his whiskey Asmodeus said " No let him create more drama for his father to clean, maybe then he will leave my son alone"

David stared at him, a look of disbelief on his eyes.. he opened his mouth to say something but closed it again. Asmodeus smirked at his assistant's expression. " If Magnus dies, we will never see the Herondale files we've been waiting for all of those years"

David seemed to consider the answer even though he believed there was another reason that Asmodeus was hiding " its been 18 years, Sir! What makes you think you'll get the files anytime soon?" He asked.

" because I know her, if I played my cards right she will pop out of her hiding, then .. I will kill her and her son"

 _But Asmodeus didn't want to kill her .. Magnus though he could care less about_.

...................

Alec walked through the station after asking where Magnus was held. He found the interrogation room when he saw Luke standing guard outside. He ignored his presence, mainly out of fear that he might punch him in the face for what he did to his friend.

He opened the door and saw Magnus sitting in a small chair, hands cuffed and resting on the table, head hung low indicating he was about to fall asleep. He closed the door and Magnus head shot up.

" Alexander" a small weak smile tugging his lips but Alec didnt smile back. His eyes were narrowed as he watched the bloody bruises on Magnus wrists, he looked at his friend face looking for any other sign of violence .. when he saw nothing, he looked at his friend tired eyes " Luke did this?" He asked gritting his teeth. Magnus nodded, reaching out to touch his friend but Alec turned and left the room before he was even able to move..

As Alec closed the door behind him, he saw Luke talking to his superior and an attorney, he walked straight them, catching Luke referring to him as Magnus' lawyer..

" I'll make this quick and less painful for your department" he cut them off. " You didn't have an arrest warrant, he was never contacted for questioning, his house wasn't searched, he has two of your cops as his alibi and he was mistreated when he was brought here .. You tried to interrogate him without a lawyer .. you informed the press about his arrest even though you know pretty well he didn't do it" he looked at the three of them waiting for them to say something, but when they all just stared he continued " Unless you want me to go to the press about assigning two undercovers to a clean innocent man in attempt to get to his criminal father, without his knowledge or consent I might add, then I advice you not to test my patience"

" Is this true, Luke?" The attorney asked and Luke simply nodded without giving any type of explanation to the men next to them. Earning himself a serious glare from his superior. 

" We need to interrogate him first then he can leave" the attorney simply said. A shadow of relief passed Alec's chest for a second .. he shook his head once " He will come tomorrow, he was just released from the hospital couple of days ago" he told the attorney.

" Mr.Lightwood, I need you to sign few papers before you leave, just to make sure he will be back tomorrow" Mr.Horton explained, he was an old man, probably with more experience in law than Alec's age. Alec followed him to one of the offices, not before he noticed a weird look on Luke's face, it looked like proudness but Alec shook it off, why would Luke be proud of him when he made him look like a fool!! If Alec didn't know any better he'd think Luke made those mistakes on purpose .. but that was another puzzle for another day ..

As Alec left the office he saw an officer uncuffing Magnus, he hurried to his friend side .. "let's go home" he managed a tight smile .. Magnus eyes shifted slightly to look around before quickly returning to his friend .. Alec noticed but choose to ignore .. they walked side by side, not touching or speaking. Alec phone rang, seeing Jace's name he picked the call. Alec said nothing besides " yes " and " bye". He glanced at Magnus who kept his eyes ahead, and Alec wanted the earth to swallow him

..........

It wasn't until half the way through to Magnus apartment that he spoke " I left my phone at yours" his voice tired and weak .. Alec didn't say anything, he just kept driving, he was exhausted, he was angry, he was lost .. he wanted to be wrong, he needed to be wrong..

" How did you get me out?" Magnus asked softly .. rubbing at his bloody wrists, a nervous movement as Alec noticed. " Are you Ok?" He asked again when notice how his friend was silent.

Alec pulled to the side of the road and stopped the car next to some abandoned buildings. His knuckles turning white around the steering wheel, he turned his head slowly towards his friend " Get out"

Magnus stared confused, he can see red anger in his friend's eyes.. the stern look covering his soft and loving features.. " You want me out?" He whispered

Alec losing his patience, got out of the car and walked around to open Magnus' door, he grabbed him by wrist almost making him lose balance and slammed him against the back door. He stepped closer still holding his friend wrist, almost twisting it .. Magnus eyes were wide in shock .. cold shivers running through his veins as the anger in his friend's eyes pierced his heart..

" You knew about all of this, You knew and you lied to me"

 

_Magnus lied_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you think Magnus lied about??


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Angst, a lot of it .. and the plot keeps getting bigger and i believe I will write more chapters than I intended

The air around him felt so thin, so suffocating.. The strong grip on his bloody wrist felt so foreign .. it felt painful, and not that physical pain you get when you cut yourself but the emotional one, where your heart is ripped out of its place.. Magnus didn't move, didn't make any attempt to speak a word .. He just looked at his friend, waiting for him to lash out more.

 _After all, Magnus lied_..

" You " Alec spoke gritting harshly at his teeth " You made a fool out of me, You lied, and I believed everything you said" he added, still holding Magnus wrist pushing him even more against the car.

Magnus eyes drifted from Alec's face to his wrist, which was evidently bleeding now through his friend's fingers. He looked back at Alec, to his Alec, trying to figure out if his friend was aware that he's hurting him.. but Alec's anger was blinding him from seeing anything at all.

" Elias Chong!! You didn't think I would recognize your handwriting ? You didn't think that I know how you curve every letter!" He shouted into the quiet night and he let go of Magnus' wrist, taking few steps back. " and the videos, the fucking videos that I didn't even know how to tell you about" he took a breathe letting out a bitter laugh..

" You knew about them too, hell you fucking edited them!!" He turned his back to Magnus, rubbing his face with his hand.. He could feel his blood rushing uncontrollably through his brain, his palms sweaty and his heart pounding against his ribs.. " You didn't even blink when I told you Catarina and Raphael were cops.. you just asked if they told me something else, what were you so afraid they'd tell me?" He asked loud enough for his friend to hear.

But Magnus didn't speak, he just stood there helpless, hopeless .. speechless.

Alec turned around to face him, he wanted answers, he needed answers but all he got was a pair of troubled golden eyes looking at him. The frustration in him was reaching crazy levels, here he was in a dead area, in the middle of the night, standing in front the most important person in his universe, confronting him about his lies. His Magnus, his everything, the person who never lied to him through their whole lives. The person he always associated with honesty, pureness and safety.

Alec took a step closer, trying to read the expression on his friend's face, trying to get a glimpse of hope that maybe, maybe he misunderstood this whole thing and maybe Magnus didn't know.

" You won't say anything, you won't even explain?" His voice a bit calmer but the anger in his tone was clear enough for Magnus to feel.

" You should go" Magnus slowly spoke, his eyes still focused on his friend, meeting his gaze, trying to show enough confident in what he's saying. " Go back to Pennsylvania, go back to your life" he calmly added.

Alec just stared for a second, he was expecting a million responses but this! Now! Wasn't something he saw coming " why drag me into it if you want me gone?" He asked.

" or is it because I caught you lying?" He asked again, his patience was running out but he wouldn't move without an explanation.

" You weren't supposed to be in it, If I knew Catarina would call you .. I wouldn't have .." he found himself lost at words, trying to find the right thing to say but Alec finished it for him " tried to kill yourself?".

Magnus didn't respond, he just looked down taking a deep breathe to calm himself a bit and to avoid the next question. " You said you didn't remember how it happened, was that a lie too?" Alec asked with all the self restraint in him, with all the power thats holding him from turning his back and walk away.

" It wasn't a lie .. " he whispered , he lifted his head to look at his friend who's expecting him to elaborate.. to explain. " I was on that drug, I think .. the demons in my head took over" he managed to speak through a shaky voice. He felt worthless, scared and desperate. The plan Sebastian planted in his head didn't seem so right at the moment. He wished he stopped himself from participating, he wished he asked a sane person before he agreed, he wished he didn't rely on himself to do the right thing.. because he screws everything, _every single time_.

He sensed the shift in Alec's expression, he saw the conflicting look in his eyes, and Magnus wanted to apologize, he wanted to reach out and beg for forgiveness .. but he wanted Alec to run, to go, to live happily away from him and his mess. He wanted his friend to walk out and never look back.

It started to make sense in Alec's head, he thought Sebastian drugged Magnus, or maybe he didn't have the time to think and process.. maybe it was a given to believe whatever his friend said, whatever he told him. " He didn't drug you like you made me believe" It wasn't a question, it was Alec putting his thoughts into words.

When his friend went silent again, Alec just felt a weird sense of coldness around him. A sense of unfamiliarity creeping in the space between them. He thought he knew Magnus, he thought he understood him, regardless of his friend's mental state in the past years.. Alec always believed he knew him.. but now he felt like they were nothing but strangers.

" where is the gun?" He asked

 

_Silence_

 

" Where is Sebastian?"

 

_Silence_

 

" Why did you take the drugs?"

 

_Silence_

 

" Why did you do all of this?" He shouted

 

_Silence .. silence .. silence_

 

" Did you kill you her?" He was now standing few inches away from his friend. His hands clenched into fists by his sides. Every part of him telling him to take the question back, to believe his friend isn't capable of hurting a fly, to believe his Magnus is innocent but considering the circumstances.. what he believed in no longer mattered.

 

" I didn't " Magnus finally answered, the pain in his eyes was clear for anyone to witness, the sadness in his voice mirroring the fast way his heart was sinking. He fucked everything up, he destroyed everything just like he always does. " You need to leave, please" he pleaded weakly. The sting in his eyes made him blink few times, and every time he opened his eyes he saw Alec's anger increase.

They stood there, for what seemed like hours.. one trying to understand and the other trying to shut himself off. One processing lies and the other processing what he's about to lose..

" I'm not leaving before you tell me why, Why did you do this?" Alec said.

After moments of trying to figure out the right thing to say Magnus spoke " I had no choice"

And it seemed that answer fueled Alec's anger even more. " You had a choice, there is always a fucking choice, you just thought you can make the right one like always do .. but guess what Magnus!! You didn't" he shouted.

" Please leave " Magnus whispered..

" instead of talking to me, the one person you say you trust, the one person you say you love , YOU chose to fuck up your life even more and fuck mine too in the process"

" Alexande .. " he tried to say..

" Why did you do it? What is it you're trying to achieve! Do you think you can lure Asmodeus out then what! Kill him? Hand him over to the police! Or isn't that the reason behind what you did? Maybe you just wanted to feel powerful, you wanted to believe that you're more than a depressed failure with no life .. isn't that what you keep calling yourself? A failure! " Alec knew he was pushing all the ugly buttons, he knew he was being a dick but he wouldn't let this night end without getting one single meaningful answer.

He ignored the hurt expression on his friend's face, he ignored the trembling on his body, he ignored the fast and short breath that he can clearly hear " You've been pushing me away for months, acting distant, ignoring my warnings for what? To do this! To conspire with Sebastian? To get yourself killed?"

" Leave " Magnus said, he wrapped his arms around himself. His whole body was shaking, his heart racing inside his chest .. he felt his legs weaken with every passing second. He kept his gaze down, avoiding eye contact and making sure if a tear falls Alec wouldn't see it.

Alec sighed, stretching his fingers by his sides. This wasn't working, he isn't getting anything from his friend. For the first time in 18 years he couldn't get to his friend, he couldn't make him see how much he wanted to help, how much he cared, how much he loved him .. he couldn't do anything.

Alec's eyes caught the hand Magnus was trying to hide, the blood was now staining his shirt.. He remembered his strong grip when he slammed his friend against the car, he remembered how he almost twisted it.. he cursed himself, he cursed his anger .. he slumped his shoulders in surrender sighing " Get in the car" he said and walked around to the driver door.

He started the car and waited few minutes until Magnus finally opened the door and sat next to him. They were both silent, tension filling the air between them. Alec kept glancing at Magnus movements, the way he was rubbing his wrist against his knee, almost unconsciously.. he was in pain, yet he would never admit it. _A pattern of life_ ..

Magnus started to notice that they weren't taking the route to his apartment. He wanted to ask where they were going, to ask a simple question but his voice betrayed him. He just looked at his hands, noticing the blood on his jeans from where he rubbed his wrist against it. He tried to hide it with his fingers, hoping Alec wouldn't notice.

Few minutes later Alec stopped the car in front of the same hospital he left a week ago. " Lets go" Alec said as he unbuckled his seat belt. He got out of the car before Magnus had the chance to ask why.

They walked side by side, quietly until they reached the ER. Alec talked with the receptionist and she called a nurse who took them to an empty bed, she closed the curtains as she started to take Magnus pressure .. Alec looked at his friend, and under the bright light of the hospital he can clearly see how tired Magnus looked, how pale his skin was, he remembered they left Pennsylvania before they had dinner and Magnus probably didn't eat much before that either.

When the doctor came in he said Magnus' wrist will need few stitches so Alec took this as an excuse to leave and get his friend something to eat.

He got him some candy bars and juice from the vending machine. He sat in the waiting area, his head felt heavy and his body aching all over from the lack of rest. He took his phone out and called Jace, who picked up at the last second

" Were you asleep?" 

" uhm I guess I dozed off for a bit, where are you?" Jace asked.

" The hospital"

" Is everything OK?"

" Magnus needs few stitches and we will head home .. listen I need a favor" Alec said unsure.

" Name it" Jace responded.

" I need you to stay with him tonight, he doesn't want me there and I need to make sure he's alright and not alone"

After few seconds of silence Jace spoke " Of course, you can count on me" and Alec was thankful for having Jace in his life, he was also thankful Jace never asks questions, he never pushes for the unsaid.

After an hour or so Magnus came out from the ER and his eyes landed on Alec immediately. He didn't see that familiar smile, he didn't see that welcoming look, he saw something he couldn't read, something he didn't want to read because in his head it would be nothing but disappointment and rejection..

Alec stood and walked towards him, he didn't ask how he felt or how he was doing. He didn't touch him like he usually does, he just asked if he was ready to leave and Magnus nodded. They walked back to the car in silence. Once they were inside Alec gave him the candy bars and Magnus took them, clutching them in his hand like they were a piece of his Alexander.

" You need to be at the station for questioning at 11 AM" Alec said as he parked the car in front of Magnus building. He kept his eyes ahead, waiting for his friend to get out and go to his apartment. He felt Magnus shift to face him but Alec didn't move " You're leaving?" It came out as a surprised question, or maybe Magnus didn't believe Alec would actually leave him, even if he pushed him away.

" It's what you want, I've never denied you a wish" Alec coldly answered. Magnus nodded to himself, actual pain twisting his heart.. he wanted to reach out and touch his friend one last time.. He wanted to say goodbye .. He wanted Alec not to hate him but he couldn't .. he wanted Alec to get as far away from him as possible, he wanted him happy and safe .. he wanted him alive. Letting out a shaky breath Magnus opened the door and got out, glancing one last time at his Alexander before closing the door and walking inside, holding the candy bar to his chest and letting his tears finally fall.

*****

4 years ago

The music in the background was soft jazz contrasting with the sounds of their loud breathing and moans. Alec fingers were sliding up and down the sides of the tanned body that was moving up and down in his lap.

The way Magnus was riding him sent shivers through his whole body, the slow tortuously pace was driving him insane, he used every single cell of his brain to remind himself that this was about Magnus, about what he needs and what he wants. It didn't matter how much Alec wanted him, how he desired him for years, how he dreamed about making love to his " friend ". What really mattered is that Magnus has finally wanted him too, he finally let himself touch and be touched, feel and be felt and Alec wouldn't do anything to ruin that.

" Don't hold back" was whispered into his ear, stopping him from sucking another hickey on his friend's chest. He lifted his head to look at his Magnus' face, their eyes met and Magnus smiled, that breath taking sweet smile that was always aimed at him. He leaned in and kissed him and Alec welcomed it with equal heat and lust. He kissed Magnus like his life depended on it. He sucked and licked into those lips he always wanted to taste .. " Show me how much you want me" was whispered again between kisses.

" I don't want to hurt you" Alec said closing his eyes as Magnus started moving faster. The tightness around his dick, the heat of the body in his arm were sending waves of electricity to his bones " I trust you " escaped Magnus lips, " I trust you more than I trust myself" he added panting against Alec's lips.

And Alec found his arms move around his friend lower back, his hands grabbing the soft skin of Magnus ass.. then flipped him on his back landing on top of him, burying himself deeper inside.. Magnus arms moved around his neck bringing their lips together but not quite kissing " You'll tell me if you want to stop " Alec breathed out.

" I don't want to stop " Magnus whispered and pulled Alec down for a soul sucking kiss .. and Alec moved, bringing them both into a haze of pleasure and lust.. loving and worshiping every part of his friend. Showing him that sex is an act of love, an act of passion .. showing him that it is okay to be touched, felt, and loved like this.. Most importantly he wanted to prove to his friend, that they should be together, they need to be together.

After they came down from their high, they laid there side by side, comfortable and satisfying silence between them. Alec was giving himself thumps up for his performance and Magnus was just grinning from ear to ear.

Alec held out two fingers in the air, Magnus chuckled and rolled into his side to face his friend " First time doesn't count , you dork" he said playfully

" if you cum it counts as sex" he replied smiling. Magnus traced a finger on Alec's chest before he snuggled closer and laid his head down " Do you think I'll ever be able to do it .. with someone else?" He asked quietly.

" I hope not" Alec said jokingly but he wasn't really joking.

" Alec .. " Magnus sighed " We talked about this before"

" You know how I feel, Magnus. I'm pretty sure you feel the same too" Alec stated. Even though they had this conversation before Alec still didn't see why they have to wait.

Magnus didn't want to turn this into an argument, not after the amazing sex they just had said " if we do it 5 times then we will give us a try, who knows you might lose your game after the third" he said teasingly. A loud gasp was heard and Magnus found himself on his back and Alec on top of him grinning " Deal " he said before leaning down to plant a kiss on his friend's lips.

" Wanna go for round three?"

" My ass is sore " Magnus whined.

" You can do me " Alec replied raising an eyebrow.

" OK " Magnus said and brought Alec down for another round of happiness.

................

Magnus entered his apartment to find himself face to face with Jace. He forgot that he was still there, a part of him was glad to have someone with him, the other part didn't even want to deal with a living soul.

" Are you alright?" Jace asked with a smile on his face, eyes soft and compassionate. Magnus walked towards the coach and sat down. He still had the candy bar in his hand, he saw his laptop on the coffee table with Sebastian phone plugged to it " You're the one who retrieved the video?" Magnus asked.

Jace nodded and sat down next to Magnus. He opened his mouth to say something then closed it again, shifting a bit uncomfortably in his place. " Say it" Magnus sighed.

Jace cleared his throat " Why were there pictures of Alec with a sniper mark on his head?"

Magnus let out a shaky breath, rubbing his newly bandaged wrist over his knee " Did you tell him about it?"

" No, I wanted to ask you first" Jace said noticing the nervous movements of the man next to him. " You have to tell me the truth please, if his life is in .."

" He threatened me , if I didn't cooperate they'd .. kill him" the last two words were barely heard.

" Sebastian ?" Jace gently asked, keeping his voice low and understanding.

" Luke " Magnus answered, he turned his head to face the blonde man, painting a smile on his face even though his eyes showed all the sadness in the world " Please don't tell him, He'll come back if he knew" Magnus pleaded.

Jace tried his best to show a neutral face " I won't say anything " he said reassuringly. " I'll stay with you tonight if thats OK with you"

Magnus nodded " Thank you"

.......................

" Why did you release him?" Sebastian said.

" He had a good a lawyer" Luke responded.

" this wasn't what we agreed on, his life is in danger out there" Sebastian snapped back.

" From now on, I set the rules, you and him will just follow what I decide" Luke said before he hung up the phone.

 

 _But Sebastian will never follow someone else's rules_.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you thought about this chapter
> 
> More of Malec sex life will be discussed soon


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is where the story I planned from the beginning starts. I also need a name for Magnus' mother, I believe I called her Sara then called Sebastian's gf Sara as well, stupid me.
> 
> Anyway, heavy useage of psychological disorders will be used from now on because like I said this is the story I wanted to write from the beginning.

_4 years ago_  

 

" You should get some sleep" said Alec yawning. He was laying down on the couch, his head resting on Magnus' thigh. He came over to help his friend study for his finals, last exams before graduation. It was already 3 AM, he couldn't keep his eyes open anymore.

Magnus held his notes in one hand while the other was roaming between Alec's hair " Go to bed, I have 4 more pages to finish" he said keeping his attention on the papers he held.

Alec rubbed his eyes yawning again, he wasn't going to sleep when his friend is still up. He wanted to support him, to help him like Magnus always did. He knew his friend was feeling uneasy and anxious about the finals. " Nah, I'll wait" he sat up and adjusted himself to sit next to Magnus... _Almost too close because that's how they always sit._.

" I can't get those lines into my head" Magnus complained, Alec dropped his arm around his friend's shoulders, grabbing the papers from his hand. He scanned the lines with his eyes ,frowning as he didn't understand a single word, then looked at Magnus " they look like an evil spell to me" he said sternly.

Magnus chuckled " Aren't you helpful !" . He poked Alec in the chest jokingly before taking the papers again. Alec was serious though, coding and programming looked extremely difficult and complicated to him. He thought he could quiz Magnus or help him summarize some parts, but all he did was sit around and watch his friend study.

He wasn't complaining though, he loved nothing more than spend time with Magnus. Talking to him, doing stuff together, falling asleep next to him. Every single minute of his friend's company was cherished, every second meant something to Alec .. He misses his friend all the time, he misses his voice, his smile, his lips .. his body.. and yes Alec's mind started wandering back to their intimate time together.. They had sex 3 times .. and each time felt like heaven, felt so right and natural. The passion between them was more than what he imagined, the way they knew each other's bodies and how each touch, every kiss felt like electricity made Alec believe that what he wanted was right. Alec wanted more, he wanted it to be official, for Magnus to be his and only his..

" You're staring " Magnus whispered, their faces were few inches apart, Alec's eyes were focused on the beautiful features of his friend's face, drifting from his eyes down to his lips and back again. He noticed the hint of red on Magnus' cheeks as he looked down for a second, before returning those golden eyes to meet his " Can we go to bed now?" He asked even though he knew Magnus didn't even reach the third page yet.

Magnus felt his heart beating faster just by seeing the look in his friend's eyes. Feeling fingers tracing the soft hair at the back of his head, goosebumps spreading all over his body. He didn't know if it was Alec or that he's finally had sex that was real and not in his head.. either way he wanted to feel loved again, he wanted to be touched again. He dropped his papers and leaned slowly towards his friend " You're distracting me".

Alec intense gaze was now replaced by desire, a mischievous smile forming on his lips " I didn't do anything ... yet". He closed the gap between them, lips finally touching, it was a soft and loving kiss, slow and tender .. He felt Magnus hands cupping his face, bringing him closer, fingers rubbing against his stubble and he smiled into the kiss. Magnus pulled away to look at him " What?" He breathed.

Alec smile grew wider, he rested his forehead against his friend's, he placed his hands over Magnus's bringing them down between them and holding them tight. " I remembered our first kiss" he softly said. Magnus smiled back, a happy memory flashing in front on his eyes.

" You pretended to be an expert in lip-locking" Alec said while laughing. Straightening himself to look at his friend properly " saying you'll teach me how to kiss like a pro when in fact you were just as clueless as me" he added playfully.

Magnus rolled his eyes even though he was still smiling " Shut up" he said trying to sound offended, " I didn't want you to embarrass yourself in front of your date" he added. Alec wrapped his arms around his waist and brought him into his lap, planting a kiss on his lips " the date I never had because you and I ended up going to prom together" he winked.

 

" You insisted " Magnus playfully shrugged. That was a memory he will always keep safe in his heart. How Alec cancelled his date and dragged him out of his room, how they got dressed in matching tux and how he fixed Alec's hair .. It was one of the best nights in his life. He can still hear the sound of their laughter until this day. " and you didn't mind" Alec pointed.

" I'm glad I didn't " Magnus replied, they smiled at each other before Magnus leaned in wrapping his arms around his friend's neck. Alec circled his waist, lifting his shirt up and stroking the soft skin of his lower back. The kiss was so loving, so happy and so right .. the way their lips moved, the way their tongues danced and the way their breathe mixed spoke the words that they still didn't say to each other..

  
" I have something for you " he said while grinding his hips slowly, titling his neck to give his friend a better access. Alec's hands travelled north, exposing more skin to touch, to feel.. fingers tracing softly at his spine " I bet you do" he spoke against The tanned skin.. sucking a small bruise above his collar bone .. a soft moan escaped Magnus lips, his fingers pulling slightly at the raven black strands " Bedroom now" he ordered.

He stood up and pulled a flushed Alec with him, basically dragging him towards the bedroom " someone's eager " Alec laughed. Magnus ushered for him to sit on the bed and went to his closet. He brought out a black suit bag and turned to face his friend. A shy nervous smile on his face " I know you said not to get you anything .. but I saw it and .. well I wanted to get it for .. you".

Alec looked at the watch in his hand which was Magnus' gift on his graduation. He feels guilty every time he looks at it, knowing how much it cost and how much Magnus makes from his part time jobs.. He knows he should be more firm about this, tell his friend to stop and reject his gifts but that look on Magnus' face, that pleading look always manage to make him _shut up_.

He looked up to see Magnus biting his lip nervously " What is it for?" Alec asked offering his friend a smile. He stood up, walking until he was few inches away from Magnus.. he reached out and took the bag. Magnus let out a relieved breath " for law school " beaming as the words slipped through his lips.

" Magnus, I didn't get accepted yet" shaking his head with a smile, he opened the zipper and took the suit out. It was fancy, dark grey, plain with no patterns just the way he likes his suits.. and of course it was a designer brand " and this is really expensive " he added with a sigh.

" You will be accepted , you will be a lawyer and you'll make me so proud .. like you always do" Magnus said, placing a hand on Alec's shoulder. " besides, you promised to let me help you with your wardrobe".  
  
Alec turned towards the bed and placed the suit down, examining it with his eyes .. it was perfect and he could totally imagine himself wearing it on his first case but that tug inside his heart kept growing bigger " You really need to stop doing this, Magnus" he turned around to face his friend. " You have rent to pay, college to finish , food to buy .. bills, You can't keep wasting your money on me". The smile on Magnus face slowly faded, that self doubt and lost look was back in his eyes. Alec knew that his friend believes love is something you need to work so hard for. He knows Magnus feels if he stopped offering Alec stuff that Alec would leave.. and he didn't know what hurts more, the misconception in his friend's head or the fact that he thinks Alec is too shallow ..

" hey " Alec spoke softly, stepping closer to his friend, placing a hand on his waist and cupping his face with the other one " I love it, I truly do but I want you to enjoy the money you work so hard to make too" he spoke gently, trying to make his friend see what he truly meant. Magnus smiled but it wasn't as genuine as the one before " I'll return it if it'll make you feel better".

And there he was again, offering to do what makes Alec comfortable ignoring his own feelings. Alec shook his head " I want to keep it and wear it everyday until you buy me a new one". He brought Magnus towards him and kissed his temple, then his cheek " and I want you to buy me whatever you want but promise me this " he nudged Magnus' chin to look at him " You will spoil yourself too, I don't want you spending every penny you make on me to make me happy.. I'm happy because I have you" Alec spoke softly but with enough seriousness to make his friend understand.

" I promise " Magnus responded. But he didn't really mean it, he believed he was doing the right thing. Spoiling those you love is the only way to keep them close. He believed it in his heart that his parents didn't love him because he brought nothing to their lives.. He was just a small, skinny and silent kid that wasn't even able to make them smile at him. He loved his mom when she made him a sandwich, he loved her when she rarely helped him with a homework he didn't understand, he loved her when she told him a story once.. She gave him some things but he loved her for them and _he just wanted to be loved_.

 

 _Alec knew Magnus wouldn't keep this promise either_..

  
..............

A harsh knock at the window almost made him bump his head on the steering wheel. He blinked few times as the sun light was strong enough to make his headache worse. He looked to his left, Catarina was holding two cups of coffee and Raphael looked bored behind her, she smiled at him as he lowered the window. " You know you don't have to sleep in your car, That's our job" she said while handing him a cup of coffee.

He thanked her for the much needed caffeine, glancing at his watch he saw it was already 8:30 in the morning. He didn't remember when he fell asleep, or how but the pain in his neck and shoulder told him what he needed to know. " You should go up, change and eat something before you go to the station" Cataria spoke again, looking at him exceptionally.

Rubbing the side of his head Alec answered her unasked question " He doesn't want me there .. or here ". He continued rubbing and massaging his head and neck, he knew she will start asking questions so he spoke before she got the chance " he doesn't want my help, he didn't answer any of my questions and I have no idea why" he looked at her to see if she wanted to know anything else.

But it was Raphael who asked " Does he have another lawyer?" . Alec sighed and opened the door to get some fresh air " As far as I know he doesn't" he answered. Cat could clearly see how tense his posture was, how tired he looked and how lost he felt " Don't worry, Alec! Any lawyer could get him out of this. He was around people the whole day, he has valid alibis" she tried to reassure him.

" You said he was home at 5 right?" He asked and she nodded, " Where was he before that?" He asked again.

" he was at saint Mary's playground, where the shelter kids practice soccer" she answered adjusting herself to lean against the car. " Right The soccer team he coaches" Alec stated to himself.

Cat and Raphael looked strangely at each other as if negotiating who should correct that information. Raphael shook his head and she rolled her eyes " he doesn't coach them, he just sits on the bench with his sketch book. He never spoke with any of them" she explained.

Alec tensed more, the anger creeping out of him.. He could understand Magnus lying about whatever messed up plans he was cooking with Sebastian, but why would he lie about this too! " And before that he was at work?" He asked because he wasn't going to let them know the amount of lies his dear friend was feeding him, or that he was about to explode with disappointment.

They both stayed silent, not looking at his direction. Raphael seemed like he wanted to run to other direction and Catarina seemed lost in what she was supposed to say. " What now?" Alec asked impatiently, he was starting to lose it again.

" Look Alec, I think you should talk to Magnus" Cat finally spoke.

" I did and he didn't say a single word, What is going on !!" He tried to keep his voice down.. people were passing by them and he didn't want to attract any unwanted attention.

" All we know he quite his job a month ago, he said he wanted to apply for law school" Raphael answered, his posture was uncomfortable, like he wanted to say more but he kept looking at Cat for approval which he didn't seem to be getting.. so he looked down at his feet.

Alec placed his coffee on the top of the car, covering his face with his hands.. taking deep breaths to calm the shakiness he felt in his limbs. How did they get to this! Everything Magnus told him was a lie, he knew nothing about his friend's life and they talked everyday .. every freaking day.. Yet Magnus lied, told him things that weren't happening .. hid things from him and that was not the friend he knew, that was not the Magnus he loved..

" If you two didn't do your best to disappear everytime I wanted to meet you, this .. this crap wouldn't have happened." He turned his head towards the two cops, giving them a very hateful look.

" We wanted to meet you, he's the one who kept making excuses" Raphael answered sternly.

Alec started to laugh, mostly at himself .. this is a joke, a very sad and disturbing joke .. why was he still believing Magnus when in one night he found out he doesn't know him at all. He doesn't know the person he loves " I'm going to talk to him " he said while still laughing bitterly, " I'm going to know why the hell he did all of this .."

He started walking towards the door and Cat followed him, gesturing for Raphael to stay put.

Once they reached the apartment door both Alec and Cat took their keys out, he gave her a " seriously!" look making her put her key back in her pocket. He opened the door to find Magnus typing at his laptop, headphones on his ears popping loud music that he could hear. His face was pale, his eyes were smaller from exhaustion.. and by the dark circles around them he knew Magnus didn't sleep at all.

He didn't even notice that someone was in the apartment, he seemed focused on what he was typing and unaware of his surroundings. Alec thought how easy it would be for someone to sneak up on him and end him with a weak guard like that, and his anger raised higher in his chest.. why put yourself in a death trap if you don't even have the skill to feel danger. He closed the door and walked to stand behind his friend, he could see his reflection on the laptop screen but Magnus still didn't notice .. losing his patient Alec tapped him on the shoulder gently trying not to scare him, ignoring the the growing desire to grab Magnus and shake the shit out of him.

Magnus flinched and jerked his head back to find Alec staring angrily at him. He sighed removing the headphones and standing up " What are you doing here" he asked, ignoring Catarina's presence completely.

Alec responded with a question " What were you typing?". He folded his arms over his chest, raising an eyebrow in question.

" I'm working on a new software for .." he began to answer before Alec cut him off " for the company you no longer work for?" Pulling his lips in a tight line to contain his anger.

He noticed how Magnus' eyes shifted, how he seemed puzzled and confused like he was trying to put things together. His hand closed into a fist that was rubbing against his thigh .. nervousness Alec noticed. Then he looked directly at Alec, eyes focused in a semi confident look, straightening his back " its freelance work " he answered.

" Just like you coaching the shelter kids?" Alec shot back, titling his head down to catch a better glimpse of his friend's expression.

" Yes" Magnus answered again, fist still moving over his jeans. Eyes unsurely shifting from Alec's face to his feet and back again.

Catarina moved closer to where they were standing, one look at both of them and she knew their communication isn't getting them anywhere. Alec was angry and Magnus was acting .. defensive! She didn't understand why either, he doesn't have to lie, he indeed was at the field and people saw him, she and Raphael saw him " Magnus, you have an alibi.. a solid one but if you lie about what you were doing there they'll assume you lie about other things too" she spoke softly hoping that he would look at her.

Magnus felt his body tense, why don't they believe him! He has been coaching these kids for over two months now, he knows it and he has his plans sketched down. He knows the kids, their names, their positions. He knows their strengths and weaknesses. " I am not lying " he spoke under his breath.

Alec and Cat looked at each other and Cat held her finger to her lips, asking Alec to keep quiet. They returned their gaze towards their friend, who stood opposite of them lost in his thoughts. Cat took another step closer " Honey, we followed you there every time .. we saw you sit on the bench making sketches, the kids and their coach saw you too" she gently explained trying to meet his eyes, but he kept looking at his feet .. trying to make sense of what she said and what he knows. " If the witnesses don't validate your story then you'll incriminate yourself, You know that right?".

Alec stood there watching how Catarina's words didn't sink in, how his friend didn't believe her.. He knows Magnus' body language, he knows when his friend is faking something .. well before he knew he was also a good liar. Magnus looked at her before he said " OK ".

And something about Magnus' look didn't sit right with Alec, he could clearly see his friend doubting her story and believing his own. And considering everything that has happened, Alec didn't know which one of them is lying. Magnus' voice cut him out of his thoughts " you need to leave, Alec"

Alec studied him for a minute, the tired face, the tensed shoulder, the scared eyes .. then the murder popped into his head, pulling the use of drugs along .. the videos where he let someone else kiss him and touch him, the lies started listing themselves one after one in his head .. this wasn't his Magnus, this is not his friend and Alec wouldn't move without bringing the person he loves back, whether his friend liked it or not. " I'm going to take a shower, you should get ready too, we will leave in 40 mins" he said and walked past Magnus towards the bedroom.

 _And Magnus cursed himself for how stubborn his friend is_.

...........

" We are losing more men everyday, how are they so sure none of them will go to the police and rat us out" Zach asked pulling his hair in frustration.

" because they have a lot of corrupted cops at their disposal! " David mocked back, throwing his cigarette into the ground and standing up. " I don't think they have a plan either, instead of fleeing here, we are getting ourselves sink into their sons drama" Zach added.

" We can run too, but where will we go?" David asked, he knows the cult has eyes everywhere and finding a decent cop who will help them is a gamble he isn't willing to take. The cult was dying, the police and their enemies were closing up on them and they've been stuck in New York waiting for the green light from the west coast to move there.

" I have a plan, you won't like it but its worth a try" Zach said. David gave him an unimpressed look knowing exactly where his friend was going " If it involves Jonathan I don't want to be a part of it" he said displeased.

Zach laughed at the face his friend made  
" I don't like the fucker either, but he knows what he's doing more than his father at the moment"

David rolled his eyes " Why would you think he might help us? His girlfriend is dead" he asked.

" He doesn't know that, he thinks we still have her " Zach winked and an Ooh escaped David lips as things started to click in his head.

"Alright, lets do it" he said as he started to to discuss the plan with his friend.

 

*****

62 days ago

Sebastian was sitting on the couch with his laptop in his lap and Magnus was on his sitting behind his desk. They've been trying to hack into the police database for days, they wanted to get more information on Camille's husband Steven Clark. The man was running one of the finest art schools in the city. Clean record from the looks of it but after Sebastian hacked into Camille bank account years ago he noticed that Steven has been transferring money to her for years.

He followed her for months after that, trying to understand the type of relationship between the two but to his surprise, Camille didn't meet with the guy once. When Sebastian got caught for hacking several bank accounts including hers, she out of no where said Steven was her husband, and he indeed was. Which invalidated Sebastian's theory that the cult were sending her money in the eyes of the police.

" Wouldn't it be easier to track his phone?" Magnus asked, leaning back in his chair. Hacking the police was really an almost impossible task even with their skills combined. " I tried, it didn't get me anywhere." Sebastian answered.

" I'm pretty sure he has another one anyway" Magnus said, he stood up and went to make some coffee. The fact that they were doing something to bring the bad guys down, and bring some justice to the world was giving him enough adrenaline but he liked the taste of coffee even though he didn't need it.. he found himself smiling thinking about how proud Alec will be of him when this whole thing is over.. when he knows Magnus took down his father and his partner.. Magnus finally felt like he has a purpose.

" Mags, Come see this" Sebastian called from the living area. Magnus poured two mugs of coffee and walked back to where the blonde was sitting, he placed the mugs on the coffee table and sat down next to him " What " he asked leaning closer to look the screen.

" This guy " Sebastian pointed to a short dark haired middle age man, standing behind Steven talking on his phone. " Camille met him two times after Sara was kidnapped" he added. " If I can get to him, I'm pretty sure he will have some useful information" he grinned.

Magnus smiled at him " all the more reasons to hurry up with the police hacking, we can run a face recognition and get a name" he said enthusiastically. He pointed at the coffee " its gonna be a long night, you'll need it"

Sebastian put his laptop down on the table and turned his body to face Magnus, grabbing his face with both hands and bringing him for a heated kiss .. " I need this more " he whispered tracing a finger over Magnus jaw..

Magnus smiled and brought their lips to crash again, pulling at Sebastian shirt to get it off " You turn me on " he spoke against his lips. Sebastian smirked " the feeling is mutual, Mr.Bane"

 

_And Magnus had sex with someone other than Alec .._

 

............

 

After giving Jace a brief of the mess they were facing, Alec and Magnus headed to the station. Cat and Raphael were behind them, the drive was again a tense and and silent one. Alec had to borrow a shirt and a jacket from Magnus closet which were a bit tight for him, and Magnus was still dressed in the same clothes from last night. He didn't change or shower or shave, but Alec didn't make a comment, he didn't think he was able to say anything friendly to his " friend". He even ignored the sound that came from Magnus stomach, knowing pretty well his friend didn't eat anything for a whole day.

He hated himself for being this angry and cold, mad enough to not care. Angry to the point where he wanted to hurt Magnus just like he hurt him with all the lies and deception. Yet, he was angry and frustrated enough to pull over to the closet coffee house and buy his friend two cheese croissant, a muffin and a latte. " Eat " he said and handed Magnus the food and coffee.

He turned the car on and started driving, glancing to see his friend not touching his food " Eat" he said again this time a little softer. He wanted to slap himself for caring but he couldn't help it, he never did. The sound of Magnus reaching through the bag made him relax and focus on the road.

A croissant appeared in front of his face and Magnus voice followed " Eat ". He gave his friend a side unpleasant look and leaned forward to take a bite. He kept his eyes ahead, taking a bite every time his friend tried to feed him. They didn't say anything else until they arrived, although the silent turned into a less tensed one.

As they got out of the car Alec looked at him and told him to answer honestly and to listen to him if he told him not to answer a question. He explained to him that the cops will try to place him in the crime scene with the evidence they found, but he shouldn't worry because he has an alibi " I know, I still remember all of this from the case we worked on together" Magnus spoke quietly as he started walking to towards the entrance , leaving Alec with wide eyes, puzzled at what the hell his friend was talking about.

 

 _They never worked on a case together_..

 

*****

59 days ago

" What will you do now that we have a name and an address?" Magnus asked to the blonde next to him. They managed to hack into the police database, found the man from the picture and found a file under Steven Clark name as well. It seemed like the police were keeping tabs on both men after all.

" I want to talk to him, I don't know how though and I do not want to do something illegal, Magnus" Sebastian sighed leaning back into the sofa. He wanted answers and leads but besides hacking, he didn't want to be involved in anything shady, he had a mother and a family to take care of.

Magnus started thinking of their options, this man knows both Camille and her husband, he met with her in private after Sara was kidnapped. He isn't an employer at the art school yet he was in the background of several pictures taken of Mr.Clark. " follow him, see where he goes and what he does daily, then we decide how to approach him". Magnus didn't want to take the illegal road as well, with hacking he knows how to cover his tracks, he was confident in his abilities but face to face conformation with criminals .. thats something he didn't think he can handle.

Sebastian nodded, turning his face to the side and reaching for Magnus' hand " how was your day ?" He asked, his face showing genuine interest. Magnus took his hand and leaned back on the sofa, stretching his legs on the coffee table. He took a deep breath and said " I saw two men watching me".

" Where ?" Sebastian immediately asked looking at his boyfriend with concern.

" I saw them in the morning when I got into my car, and I saw them when I left work" he answered looking at the blonde man's eyes. He was expecting Sebastian to doubt him, to tell him that he's imagining things .. to try and make sound it like its nothing but Sebastian straightened himself and his eyes showed real worry " is this the first time you see them?" He asked softly.

Magnus shook his head " them yeah, but I've been followed by others before". Sebastian leaned back into the sofa and draped his arm around the tanned man, resting his head on Magnus shoulder " I'll drop you and pick you up from work, until we figure out who the hell they are"

Magnus smiled and rested his head on Sebastian's. _He finally started to feel safe._

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dont blame Magnus for his feelings please, you will understand more in the next chaptersz


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thank yoi THANK YOU for the comments on the last chapter. And some of your started to guess right :P
> 
> I just want you to know the only 100% good guy in this is Jace even though I hate the charcter on the tv show haha. 
> 
> This chapter is mainly Malec and less of other charcters.
> 
> Enjoy.

  
" Mr.Bane, where were you from 5 PM to 7 PM on the 14th?" The detective asked. Luke and another cop were standing behind her.

" I was at home " Magnus answered simply.

" Did you have any company at that time?" She asked again.

" No " he replied.

" So you have no one to validate your claim here! " she said tabbing with her pen.

" Two of your cops are following me for a year now, they can validate that I was indeed at home" he spoke confidently and Alec gave her the names and told her that they were waiting outside.

" Right, what's your relationship with the victim?" She adjusted her position putting her arm on the table, the look on her face spoke troubles.

" She was a supervisor at the foster home I grew up in".

" When was the last time you saw her?"

" I'm not sure, maybe a year ago " he answered looking at his hands. Alec noticed the shift in his shoulders before he looked up at the detective again " We don't have a close relationship " he added.

The detective narrowed her gaze, leaning back in her chair, she opened a yellow file and took out a picture, sliding it on the table for Magnus to see " Isn't that your bracelet? How did it get there?" She asked.

" I don't know " Magnus answered.

" Mr.Bane, we found your fingerprints and your bracelet in a crime scene, I hope you understand how serious this is" even though she was trying to explain the severity of the situation, her tone was clearly hostile and annoyed.

Magnus looked up at Luke briefly, a fast glance that would go unnoticed if a person blinks but Alec noticed, he saw the threatening look Luke was giving his friend but what he didn't see coming was the challenging look in his friend's eyes.. Magnus smirked and said " I told you, I dont know. I wasn't there and I haven't seen her in a long time" leaning back in his chair confidently.

The detective kept repeating her questions and Magnus stuck to his answers, every time Magnus spoke Luke got angrier and Alec was silently taking notes of his surroundings. His friend was handling himself so well that he didn't need to interfere but he didn't miss how Magnus kept moving his fist over his knee under the table.

A police officer came into the room gesturing for the detective to come talk to him, she excused herself and left. Luke and the other cop followed shortly leaving the friends alone. Magnus sighed and dropped his head, he was tired, his head spinning from all the drama and lack of sleep. His face looked even paler under the yellow lights of the room and Alec wanted to ask him if he was OK, he wanted to comfort him and tell him everything will be fine .. but he couldn't get those words out. All he managed to say " I hope you aren't lying" and Magnus didn't respond.

..........

  
_6 hours ago_

  
Rushing through the hallways to the elevator, he has 3 mins to get out of the building. 3 minutes before the surveillance cameras start to work again, 3 minutes to escape. Covering his head and half of his face with his hoodie, his fingers shaking in sync with his rapid heartbeats. As the elevator opened he hurried in, pressing multiple times for it to close..

He kept looking at his watch, feeling his lungs drop with every ticking second.. he reached the 5th floor finally and ran towards the emergency exit and frantically ran down the stairs. Glancing at his watch, he only had 45 seconds to run away and he did .. he ran until his legs felt like jello.. he ran for his mother, he ran for his family, he ran for Sara and he ran for Magnus.

He didn't think his simple plan of hacking few accounts and databases would turn into this.. he didn't think he would turn into a criminal, a killer, someone as evil as his father. He wondered if this is how his father started, killing someone because he was forced to, killing someone to get to someone else ..

The sight of blood on his sleeves, the guilt shattering his heart, the hate and disgust he felt towards himself .. The fear that was eating every piece of him made him stop and free the content of his stomach at the nearest corner..

 _He didn't want this, Sebastian didn't want to kill Steven Clarck_..

........

The detective came in 20 minutes later, she looked disappointed and a bit disturbed. She looked at both of them for a while before she spoke " Mr.Bane you are free to go .. for the time being but expect a call from us at anytime". She lingered for a moment to see their reactions before giving them a nod and leaving them alone again.

Magnus smiled, a sincere genuine smile that Alec hadn't seen in days. He stood up, feeling the dizziness taking over him so held the edge of the table to steady himself. The smile still on his face, like he was thanking someone in his head and Alec observed.. paying attention to the details his friend thought he was clueless to.. remembering how Magnus was scanning the station for someone or something the night before .. he wanted to ask, he wanted to question, but again he stopped himself.

Standing beside his friend, he put his hands behind his back and said " lets go".

 

_A million questions in his head and a million answer he didn't want to hear._

 

.............

 

" The apartment looks untouched" the detective observed mainly to herself. Luke was leaning down checking the body. His eyes focusing on the neck wound that killed the man, he checked the edges, the direction of the cut, he checked the arms and fingers.. the details he told Sebastian to be careful about and when he saw no sign of failure he stood up " Are you done?" He called to his team.

A man came up to stand next to him " yes, There isn't any sign to indicate that this " he gestured to the body next to their feet " is anything but suicide "

Even though Luke wanted to beam for the clean work the blonde did, he was burning with anger at the timing. They had agreed to wait until the cult made a move. He cursed himself for ever trusting Sebastian or Magnus to stick to a plan. He kept a straight face though, nodding at the officer " alright, lets move the body and get outta here".

 

 _The detective followed them holding the suicide note and a confession that Steven killed his wife in her hands_..

 

..........

 

" Do you think they'll give me the bracelet back?" Magnus asked quietly.

Alec felt a tug in his heart, his anger started to build up again even though it hardly died down " Does it even mean anything to you?" He chuckled bitterly.

Magnus looked at him shocked, how could Alec say or think that about him. It meant everything to him, it was a part of him. He wore it everyday for four years. Every time he felt alone, every time he felt unloved or doubtful he'd look at it, touch it with his fingers and feel safe, feel Alec's love and devotion for him. He wanted to tell his friend how wrong he was, how this piece of gold represents everything he wants and loves but all he said " Will they?" He asked again.

Pulling over when they reached Magnus building, Alec turned to him " You can have it after the case is over" he spoke sternly. " Although I don't see why you'd still want it" he added.

Magnus didn't meet his eyes, although his face was titled towards him. " Why wouldn't I?" He asked weakly.

Not wasting a second Alec said " because it lost its meaning " and he didn't know which one was worse, the pain he knows he caused his friend with his words or the pain he felt inside his heart.. its scared him how he wanted to hurt Magnus back and make him feel all the awful things he made him endure. He hated himself because he vowed to never cause his friend any pain but it felt like a chain has been broken .. and he has no control anymore.

if _Magnus felt like he wasn't enough before, he now feels like nothing_.

 

*****

51 days ago

Sitting in a car in the middle of the night, waiting for Joseph Lance to go to his usual hang out place. A bar in the area of Hunts point, one of the most dangerous places in NY. Magnus didn't care, he was a man on a mission. Ever since the night he met Sebastian he decided he wants to be a part of this, even with the warnings of the blonde, he felt himself being pulled towards this .. towards getting revenge.

" here he is " Sebastian said next to him, he put his phone in his pocket " Magnus, you should wait here" and he meant it, he didn't know what to expect from talking to this man or if he's even willing to speak before he resorts to violence.

But Magnus just raised an eyebrow and opened his door " We're in this together" he stated before getting out of the car. Sebastian sighed and got out as well. They started walking behind Joseph, the street was basically dead they could hear the sound of night cockroaches.

Joseph took a turn into the alley that would lead him to the backdoor of the bar, they followed keeping a safe distance. They waited a bit to make sure he made it to the bar before they walked into the alley. The second they rounded the corner they saw him standing there with a gun pointed at them " What the hell do you want?" He shouted.

Magnus froze, eyes going wide and Sebastian held an arm in front of him to make him back out. " I just want to talk" the blonde spoke confidently ignoring the panic in his chest.

" Talk about what?" The man shouted again, taking a step closer to them. Sebastian raised his hands to show that he isn't armed and Magnus did the same. They both took a step back but the man moved closer to them.

" About Camille " Sebastian answered, he thought with a gun pointed at him he might as well cut to the chase. The man hands tightened around the gun, raising his aim .. the world probably stopped for both of them .. They closed their eyes before hearing a click from behind them then the sound of a body drop to the ground.

It took Magnus forever to realize he was still breathing, the sound of foot steps behind them got louder and a person walked between them towards the body.

" You fucking idiots, You damn fucking idiots" an angry voice rang through the air around them and they both opened their eyes. Luke was standing few inches away from them, eyes filled with despise and anger " You morons ruined my investigations and I was this close " gesturing with two fingers in the air.

Magnus swallowed hard, still in shock to form a useful sentence. He's seen Luke many times before, but he never saw this side of him, he didn't know what to say or if he's even supposed to say anything. He felt Sebastian's confusion as he looked at the cop blankly.

Luke gave them another stern look and kneeled down to search the body, he took out two guns, a knife, keys and two phones. Putting the weapons down, he stood up and walked towards them " here, break them and see what you can find" he held the phones in front of their faces. They both didn't react " isn't this why you are here for?" He asked them inpatient.

Sebastian cleared his throat " actually I just wanted to talk to him, see what he knows about Camille and Sara" he explained.

Luke gave him an amused look " and you so naively thought he will rat her so easily?" He asked sarcastically.

" We didn't know what to expect, we just thought it was worth the risk and maybe he will cooperate " Magnus began to explain but Luke cut him off " for two people who were able to hack into our database, you sure as hell not smart enough" he shot back.

They both stayed silent, feeling like kids being scolded by their parent and the fact he knew about the hacking made them think carefully of what to say. " take the phones, You will be working for me from now on" he told them not waiting for their approval.

" I'll find you after I clean this mess, now leave " he ordered them placing the phones in Magnus' hands. He turned towards the dead man on the floor and they both ran away towards the car.

 

 _What have they done_ ...

 

*****

  
**_4 years ago_ **

 

  
The sound of their laughters could be heard from miles away, they swayed as they grabbed into each other to get to the door. Alcohol mixed with happiness made them high. Magnus wasn't used to drinking even though he loved the taste of alcohol and Alec wasn't much of a drinker but tonight was different. Celebrating Magnus graduation, hitting as many parties and clubs as they could. Alec knew Magnus liked to dress up and dance, so he took him to the most upbeat clubs in NY.

They stumbled into the apartment, laughing at Alec almost falling. Magnus leaned against the living room wall, a smile lightening his face making him glow. He wore the tightest black jeans, a white sleeveless top with glittery pink print and a black blazer. His nails painted in the same shade of pink that decorated his shirt. His hair spiked up, although it got messed up a bit from all the dancing. The golden eyes surrounded by black eyeshadow, making them pop more.. and his lips painted with a lipgloss that all Alec wanted to do is taste ..

He walked over to trap his friend between him and the wall. Alec placed a hand next to Magnus' head and let the other rest on the shorter man cheek. " You're beautiful " he said smiling at the golden eyes in front of him. Tracing a finger to Magnus' jaw, he nudged his chin up and brought their lips together. The kiss was sensual, slow and loving even with all the teasing and flirting they did all night. Alec moved his lips to plants little wet kisses over his friend cheek, moving to his jaw sucking a little hickey on his jawline " so beautiful " he muttered under his breath.

Magnus felt the heat take over his body, he didn't know if it was the alcohol or Alec's touches that made his head buzz. The way Alec's stubble was rubbing against his neck and the warm scent of the taller man brought his senses to life. He slowly moved his hands to Alec's jacket, trying to get it out of the way " Wait" Alec said before lifting his head up to look at his friend.

Sensing the confused look on Magnus' face, Alec reached into his pocket and took out a small squared velvet box " I got you something" he said. Magnus eyes shifted from Alec's face to the box that was held between them, a look of disbelief on his face " me?" He asked taking the box in his hands.

Alec smiled sweetly at him " Yes, you", he saw how his friend was looking at the box as if it was a strange thing " Open it" he demanded softly, his smile grew wider as Magnus started untying the ribbon and carefully opened the box. He took out a fancy golden bracelet, with " Magnus " engraved on the front and " You are enough" engraved inside.

Magnus felt his heart beats faster, he kept running his fingers on the ' you are enough' side. No one has ever gotten him anything, and he never expected anything from Alec either. He didn't think he earned it, didn't believe someone will put money and effort into buying him something. Yet here he was, standing between his friend and a wall, on his graduation day and Alec did make an effort. _He made an effort for him_.

Alec took the bracelet and opened it gesturing for Magnus to lift his sleeve a bit. He slowly wrapped it around his friend's wrist and closed it. He looked up observing how his friend was looking at at the golden piece, it almost broke his heart when he realized Magnus' wasn't used to this, that this was probably the first gift he ever received. Alec couldn't afford the luxury of buying gifts, but after he graduated a semester ago, he had some money left from the trust fund his parents left him, and he planned this gift for months. He wanted Magnus to have something to remind him of Alec all the time. To remind him that he is loved and wanted.

Magnus met his gaze, a soft smile on his face and a glimpse of tears in his eyes " Thank you, Alexander " he said softly. Alec shook his head slightly, bringing Magnus' hand to his lips, placing feather kisses to his knuckles " Thank you for being everything I've ever needed" he said while placing Magnus' hand over his heart. He resumed his previous position, one hand next to the short man' head and the other on his cheek. Alec wasn't good with words, he was so blunt and direct but he was never a man who expressed his feelings but he practiced this for so long, and he wanted to say it, he needed to say it.

He stroked his thumb over the soft tanned skin " Thank you for showing me what friendship means" he leaned and placed a kiss on those pinky parted lips. " Thank you for teaching me how trust myself " he kissed him again, this time longer and more persistent. He rested his forehead against Magnus', their lips so close to each other " Thank you for making me who I am, for believing in me, for pushing me to be a better person". He added while gently stroking his friend's face.

Magnus felt like he was floating on a fluffy cloud. Every word that came from his friend's mouth made his heart grow bigger in his chest. Every touch, every kiss and every caress made him feel the love his friend was sending his way. He opened his eyes to see those big hazel ones smiling softly at him, the eyes he loves the most. " I am enough" he whispered in confirmation.

" You are more than enough" Alec answered back. Crashing their lips together, the kiss got heated as they both started to act on the burning desire inside of them. The jackets were lost, shirts followed, chests pressed so close together and hands roaming everywhere.. heavy breathing and small moans escaped their lips as the lust and want took over their souls.

" Tonight doesn't have to count " Alec breathed out as he was on his knees sucking on the tanned man hipbone. He knew this would be their fifth time together, and he didn't want to pressure his friend into dating him " I want it to count " Magnus responded immediately, tugging at Alec's hair to look up at him " I want it to count, I want you" he said reassuringly. Alec's grin went wider than the sun, his eyes sparkling with affection, _he is finally getting what he wants_.

Alec made a quick work for Magnus' tight pants and boxer. " Turn around" he ordered gently, and when Magnus turned to face the wall his ass was on level with Alec's face.. Alec grabbed his asscheeks with both hands, squeezing and admiring how perfectly crafted his 'boyfriend's' butt looked. He squeezed harder and Magnus chuckled, looking over his shoulder and said " What are you doing, dork?". Alec ignored him and closed his teeth on the left cheek, biting slightly before kissing it then moved to the right one and did the same. He then placed his two hands around the shorter man's waist and started licking his way up, smiling as he felt Magnus arching his back when he licked his spine. When he was standing completely, pressed against Magnus' back and pulling him into his chest " I love your ass" he whispered into his ear.

"Since when?" Magnus teased back, pressing his ass against the bugle he felt behind him. Alec groaned and tightened his hold on his 'boyfriend's' waist " since I fell in love you" he answered like its the most obvious thing, leaning down to kiss the tanned shoulder. Magnus felt his body tense at the words but he shook it off quickly, he wasn't gonna let his brain ruin this, he wasn't gonna let himself ruin this for Alec.. He knows Alec wanted him, loved him and he should feel lucky and grateful for having someone who desires him this much. After _all he didn't think there was anything about him to love.._

" I love you too" he found himself saying. And he did, he really did love his friend but he didn't know if it was the right kind of love. He didn't know if loving Alec was because they're meant for each other or because Alec was the only one interested in him. Either way, the love he felt for his friend was indescribable and he knew the minute he starts over analyzing it, he will ruin everything for both of them and lose the only person he has. So he turned around in the taller man's arms, looking at his eyes, the loving and lustful look Alec was giving made him heat up, shadows of red forming on his cheeks " I can't believe I'm making the great Magnus Bane blush" Alec teased pulling Magnus towards his chest.

Magnus' wanted to say he wasn't that great but instead stroked Alec's chest and looked down smiling " and I can't believe the awkward Alec Lightwood became so confident" and at that Alec smirked pulling Magnus of his feet and heading towards the bedroom..

 

 _The awkward Alexander Lightwood was never happier_..

..........

 

Alec was talking to Jace in the kitchen, filling him on what happened and asking him to bring some clothes for him when he comes back on the weekend. Magnus didn't know why Alec was staying or why Jace was coming back. Alec just told him he meant nothing to him, he told him he was a lair and a deceiver. Alec hates him, he can tell by his coldness, by his words, by the fact that he didn't even try to touch him.

He looked at his wrist, where the bracelet used to be and found himself rubbing it against his knee uncontrollably. It felt like it itches all the time, even though it wasn't. Maybe it was his guilt for agreeing to give it Luke, to place it in the crime scene. Or maybe because he knows he lost his best friend because of his actions. The best friend who is still here, who is still waiting for him to explain and yet Magnus didn't know what to tell him. His mind was playing tricks with him again, he didn't want to say something only for it to be .. not real.

A knock at the door broke him out of his thoughts, he stood up but Jace already beat him to it.. The door opened and a blonde trembling man came barging in, the minute his eyes landed on Magnus he stopped. Trying to pull himself together, clutching his fists by his sides, he looked a total mess, eyes swollen, hair sweaty and all over his face .. a tear slipped down and he looked at his feet..

Magnus who didn't look any better spoke quietly " I'm so sorry" just as Alec stood in the middle watching the interaction between the two men with narrowed eyes.

" I'm just like Valentine, I'm a murderer just like him" Sebastian sobbed. Jace and Alec exchanged looks and Jace left the apartment not wanting to hear anything else.

" No " Magnus said taking a step towards the blonde, " No you aren't, you had no choice" he said weakly, feeling his eyes tear up as well but he shook himself off, he needs to be strong, he needs to be supportive. He watched Sebastian wipe his tears out, lifting his head to meet his eyes.

" He admitted to plot Sara's kidnaping with Camille, he admitted to be the cult's puppet in Ny and he's the one who sent the two men to watch you" Sebastian said before Alec stepped in, in front of Magnus " what men?" He asked his friend.

Magnus kept his gaze on Sebastian " two guys who've been following me for two months" he answered without hesitation. Alec eyes narrowed more with anger " why haven't you told me about them?" He asked with a little tremble in his voice. Magnus used to always tell him when he suspected or noticed he's been followed, it was a common thing that happened almost every year.

" The last time I told you, you asked me if I was imagining things, you said if I was really being followed why didn't they kill me yet" The words leaving Magnus lips almost too easily, unfiltered " What?" Alec shouted making Magnus flinch and look at him " When did I ever say that?" He raised his voice more.

And there it was the same confused and lost calculating look on Magnus face. He stared at Alec's face trying to understand why is he angry and trying to remember what he himself said. " Answer me, Magnus, When did I ever say that to you" he shouted again " is this what you told him about me? That I didn't care about you so that he would?" He shot at the shorter man bitterly. " or maybe thats just how you see me! An insensitive piece of shit"

And Magnus just stared, lost in his own head and wincing at the painful words coming out from his friend's mouth. He wanted to say something, anything but he only found a big void inside his brain. He looked at his Alec and all he could see is anger, disappointment and hate directed at him. He glanced over Alec's shoulder and saw pity in Sebastian's face.

He took a step back away from his friend and walked to his room, closing the door behind him. He wished he had the drugs now, he needed them to make him lose his mind and not think, not imagine and say things that weren't real. He wished he had anything to take the shattering pain he felt away..

 _He wished_ ..

Alec just stood there staring at the window, he didn't understand any of this and nothing around him was making any sense. How did it become this hard to talk to Magnus? How did things reach this far and get so ugly!

" whatever you want to know I'll tell you" Sebastian spoke softly behind him. Alec sighed and turned around, seeing the distress on the blonde face.

Alec took a deep breath and said " You better start talking then"

 

 _and Sebastian did_.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this half drunk so sorry if there are any mistakes..
> 
> feedback is always appreciated ❤️


	12. Chaptr 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm really sorry for the delay, After finishing almost 3 chapters my laptop crashed and I started writing on my phone. I'm sorry if it isn't that good, I tried to remember the sequence of the events as I originally wrote them but well ugh. 
> 
> I will post another chapter before Christmas hopefully tomorrow if I'm done with it.

"I gave him the drugs, he said he couldn't sleep and his anxiety got the better of him, so I told him they were the sleeping pills I used" Sebastian said, sitting in Alec's car after asking Catarina to stay with Magnus. 

 

"Did he know?”

 

“Probably not, but maybe he did ... I mean he must've noticed that something was off." 

 

Alec tried with all the strength he had to keep his composure, if he let himself slip, he would definitely break every bone in Sebastian's body "were you there when he cut himself?" 

Sebastian shifted in his seat, glancing over at Raphael's direction. Seeing how he was watching them carefully, he knew if Alec killed him Raphael would probably cheer him on " I was" moving again so half of his back was leaning against the window " I made him do it"

And he went on to explain how he waited until the drugs kicked in, making sure that Magnus wasn't lucid or aware of his surroundings. He then started reminding him of his worst fears, his darkest nightmares. The memories of his mother, the cruelty of his father, every single weakness Magnus has ever admitted to him. " I gave him the razor and watched him do it"

Alec started going back to the moment he came into Magnus' hospital room, how terrified and shocked he was, Alec can still hear the sound of his friend's heartbeats until this very second. " He was telling the truth that day, he really didn't know"

Even though Alec was basically talking to himself, Sebastian nodded slowly.  “Why! Why did you do this?" Alec spoke, turning his head to face the blonde. All the anger in the word wasn't even close to what he felt at the moment, but he wouldn't lose it just yet, not before he gets all the answers he can get from Sebastian. Although pictures of Sebastian head hanging on a stick were popping in his brain, Alec tried to keep himself under control.

At least Sebastian didn't look proud of what he did. At least he had a guilty look on his face which made Alec repress the need to go violent for another few minutes " Luke made us do everything he said, he was threatening to turn us in for hacking if we don't cooperate.. Magnus refused and he kept getting Luke angrier, I had to do something".

“By making kill himself?" Alec didn't intend to shout but it came loud enough for the blonde to flinch. “Magnus was panicking, he wanted to back away from the plan and go to the police after Luke killed Camille" Sebastian answered hurriedly.

“And what!! You decided to kill him?" Alec reached out and grabbed Sebastian by the labels of his shirt, the plan of keeping himself in check was gone and replaced by a terrifying desire to hurt the piece of shit in front of him.

 

*****

 

_45 days ago_

 

Magnus sat across Mr.Lowyed, his shrink for the past 5 years. The doctor gave him more appointments than he normally does in the past few months. No explanation, no reason, he just repeated the same questions and asked Magnus to describe the same things over and over. " Why did you ask for me this time?" 

 

The doctor glanced over his notes one last time before adjusting his glasses " I need to run some tests and MRI for your brain" 

 

Magnus shifted in his seat and leaned forward, eyes narrowing at the old man " Why?" He asked.

 

" I have to rule out any medical condition before I'm able to make an accurate diagnosis" the doctor spoke calmly, trying to ease it in and not cause Magnus to freak out. " We might be dealing with more than depression here".

 

Although the doctor was telling him he wasn't sure of anything yet, Magnus felt his chest getting heavier, he bit nervously at his lip looking directly at his doctor " what do you think is wrong with me?" 

 

" I wouldn't be able to tell without those exams and talking to your friend Alec, you've been telling me contradicting stories, things you told me a million times but lately you've been saying them differently , seeing them differently" the doctor tried to explain it in the simplest way without giving any hints of a specific illness. 

 

" Are you saying I'm crazy?" Magnus couldn't help the bitter laugh that escaped his lips, he knew how he felt, restless, on edge and maybe scared but he wasn't crazy not yet, he hoped.

 

The doctor went on to explain to him the things he noticed. It started when Magnus told him how he believed his mother wants him to find her even though she never contacted him in 18 years. He described his father's violence against him as a reaction for his misbehavior. He then mentioned how Alec was getting sick of him, how Alec sees Magnus as a failure. Mentioning past incidents that Magnus himself described differently before. The way Magnus told him how he couldn't work without locking his office door because he thought he's been followed. 

 

" Its been happening for months now, I can't keep prescribing the same medicine if I'm dealing with something else" The doctor gently concluded to the distressed man in front of him.

 

Magnus just looked at him nervously, a part of him trying to figure out if he actually said those things and the other part knew for sure that he didn't. Those were his thoughts, in his head for years but he never spoke them out loud nor did he even write them down in his journals. Some were his “better “scenario of bad situations and some were his feelings about himself. The kind of thoughts that come to you before you go to bed or when you’re feeling down, the imaginary events that could improve or explain the reality. He shook his head glancing down at his hands, he knew he didn’t say those thoughts, he always kept them hidden, always bringing them back to comfort himself or blame his poor self for things he couldn’t explain.

 

" The sooner we do those tests and I talk to your friend we will know what we're dealing with" Mr.Lowyed's voice cut him out of his thoughts. Magnus' hand instinctually went to the bracelet around his wrist, his fingers randomly rubbing the surface “Why do you need Alec for?"

 

" Someone who is close to you can report any changes in your behavior, speech inconsistencies or .. Hallucinations" the words were carefully said, knowing the state Magnus was in the doctor needed to have Alec's presence. Only to hold his friend together and make him stick to the treatment. The doctor knew the signs, he had enough experience to diagnosis without any tests but after all of those years with Magnus, he wouldn't leave a room for mistakes. He needed to be 100% sure.

 

The tests which he scheduled after two days will clarify if Magnus suffered from schizophrenia or if a physical condition was causing the symptoms. 

 

_But Magnus never saw his doctor after that day._

 

................. 

 

_Across the country, at the Mexican borders a petit middle aged Asian woman was starting her journey towards New York._

_A pile of files placed inside a wooden box on the passenger seat next to her, a look of determination on her face to finish what she started 18 years ago, regardless of the outcome or the consequences._

_She will sit herself free for good._

 

.........................

 

Sebastian struggled to free himself from Alec’s grip, he would normally be able to fight back but with everything that has happened in the past couple of days he didn’t have any strength left “ I had no choice but to do something to keep him quiet, I didn’t want him dead” he spoke with regret and desperation “ it was either that or Luke silencing him” he added weakly.

 

Alec gaze was deadlier than a bullet, he had enough, and he couldn’t take any more of this deceiving and scheming. Every day the story is different, and every discovery he made is worse than the previous one. But this man, this evil manipulating man tried to take his friend away from him, he tried to destroy his entire world.

 

He pushed the blonde with all his strength until his head hit the window “The drugs, where did you get them from?” he asked clenching his jaw, his hand still hanging in the air between them, ready to punch if needed.

 

Sebastian didn’t look scared or threatened, he looked like someone who was carrying the weight of a tribe on his shoulders and needed to lift it from his chest “ I’ll tell you everything, I swear”

 

*****

 

_50 Day ago_

 

Luke sat across the two idiots who ruined his investigation, as much as he was pissed at them he was partially grateful to have two individuals who want the same thing as him.   With all the corrupted cops in his department he didn’t know who to trust, he had to work alone for years and there is only so much you can achieve alone “What did you find?”

Magnus felt embarrassed being caught doing something illegal by a man he respected, a part of him was afraid that Luke will inform Alec. He didn’t even want to think of what Alexander will say or do about this, so he chose to stay silent and let Sebastian do the talking “This phone is pointless, nothing shady on it “he held the device in his hand “The other one though, only has 4 phone numbers with no names, I was able to track two of them”

Luke eyed them with narrowed eyes “and?” he asked calmly.

“And the location points to the area where Camille lives” Sebastian answered. Luke nodded and stood up, he eyed Magnus who was looking at his feet as if he didn’t want to be seen “ I will provide you access to our database so you can listen to the calls history” he informed them, he took the keys of the man he killed out and threw them on the sofa next to Sebastian “ You know where he lived right?”.

 

Sebastian eyes went wide and Magnus raised his head to look at Luke “You will go and search his apartment, see what you can find and don’t leave any finger prints” he ordered sternly. Luke knew what he was doing, although he was desperate for this case to conclude with a victory but his desperation didn’t cloud his judgement. He was sure he can trust those two, he was sure they will be an assist and not a liability.

 

Magnus took in the look at Luke’s face, the barely evident nervousness of Sebastian before he spoke “Why Can’t a cop do that?” his voice came low and restraint. The moment they agree to search the apartment they will be a part of something bigger than them, at least Magnus believed it was bigger than him.

 

“ I wouldn’t ask you to do this if I had someone else I can trust” Luke simply answered.

 

The answer didn’t really register well with Magnus, he blinked few times before focusing on the older man “What about Catarina and Raphael?”

 

Luke managed a tight smile “they are here to protect you in case your father made a move, I want them focused on that”. Judging by the look in Magnus’ eyes, Luke knew he had more questions. A conversation that has been delayed for years, a conversation he owed the young man.

 

“Why now? I mean I’ve been alive for years “he let out a sarcastic laugh, mainly at himself

“Why did you assign me protection now? He inquired again.

 

Luke took a deep breath, forming the shortcut version of history in his mind “ I had cops following you since you left the foster home, the blonde guy who lived across from you was one of them, so was Tess”

 

Magnus eyes narrowed, he noticed the blonde a lot and always found it strange how often they met in the hallways but he never gave it much thought. Tess was this girl who always ran into him at the library or the coffee down the street but she suddenly disappeared. “ Why do you think I’m in danger, Luke! My mother left 18 years ago without looking back, and my dad left me in a bathroom to die”

 

The expression on Luke’s face softened at those words, he always felt sympathy towards Magnus, he felt bad for how his life turned out to be especially when he remembered how ambitious and full of hope he was as a teenager “Your mother left a note to your father before she disappeared, she said she will be back with the files she stole when she’s sure you’re safe. She never specified when but she did say it will be on your birthday” he explained gently.

 

Magnus felt his heart race, his hand automatically went to his bracelet, his eyes shifting from Luke’s face to his own feet. He thought his mother didn’t care about him and ran away to save herself. He made his peace with that even when internally he was a love deprived self-doubting mess because of it. Now, Luke the man he knew for so long is telling him his mother ran away to keep him safe, to keep alive “Why didn’t you tell me this before?” he asked frustrated.

 

“Because Magnus, I wanted you to live. I wanted you to let go and move on. Plus when was it ever a good time to tell you? When you were a teenager trying to find your own ground, or when you fell into self-harming after Alec left to college? Or when you barely survived your 4 years of the education you didn’t even want?” Luke ranted. He might’ve been closer and more in sync with Alec but he always kept a close eye over Magnus’ life, because after all, Magnus was the link to the Asmodeus and his friend.

 

“What if I left New York and you couldn’t watch over me? Would you have told me then!” the anger raising in his chest making his voice shake. He deserved to know this piece of information, he deserved to know his mother loved him even if she gave him up, he deserved to know he’s been followed half of his life. He deserved to know he wasn’t going crazy when sensing pairs of eyes following him around all the time.

 

Luke looked briefly at Sebastian then back at the angry man standing in front of him. Taking a second to consider whether the whole truth was useful at the moment, knowing fully well Magnus’ fragile state and the absence of Alec made him decide to share half of what he knows “ You wouldn’t have left, Someone you know made sure you never leave this city” he said taking a single step in Magnus’ direction. “Camille made sure you didn’t join the soccer team in fear you would get a scholarship, she ruined your college applications with bad recommendation letters.. She also “he tried to continue but Magnus cut him off yelling “If you knew all of this, why didn’t you stop her?” He was now standing inches away from the other older man.

 

“ because I wanted you here too” Luke answered calmly. Keeping his gaze on level with Magnus almost in a challenging way. Luke might’ve been a part of ruining the young man’s life but he believed it was for the greater good.

 

Magnus just stared at him furiously, rubbing his fists over his sides. He felt like someone slapped him then kicked him in the gut. He trusted Luke, he thought Luke had his back, but like everything else he thought he knew, he was wrong again. Camille and this man made him feel like a failure for a decade, making him feel he wasn’t good enough, wasn’t worthy of his own dreams. “ Lets go “ he spoke to Sebastian but still looking at Luke “ let’s bring her down, I want her gone, I want her dead” he walked past Luke, grabbed his keys and left the apartment with Sebastian following him shortly after.

 

 

_Leaving Luke with a smile on his face, he’s finally getting close to what he wanted._

 

 

………………………

 

Sebastian started telling how they got involved the murder of Joseph Lance, how it was them who searched his apartment and found a lot of documents incriminating both Camille and her husband. He also told him he found the drugs there, a lot of it so he snatched some. Alec took a mental note to contact his office, find any link between the drugs they found in Pennsylvania and the ones found here. If the cult were distributing them they he has a guy to question.

The conversation kept flooding, the things Alec didn't know about his friend didn't even compare to what he knew. Even when Sebastian's words were clearing the mystery for him, he still didn't understand why Magnus did any of this. 

 

" Luke wanted us to publish videos of us together in bed and create a controversy, he believed Valentine will definitely make a move" he went on to explain to Alec how things reached this far. After the videos get published, Luke planned on making the Camille murder go public and he thought framing the Asian son of a racist cult leader was the perfect strategy. 

 

Camille being the executor of many operations in NY, always managed to keep her name clean. Luke knew she was a cult member from his days with Alec's father but he wasn't a cop back then, he was just a young intern in Robert's firm. He worked for him for years, building a strong relationship with both Mayrse and Robert. They treated him like a younger brother and encouraged him to join the police force, his dream that became true because of them.

 

He kept his eyes on her for years and he couldn't catch her in the wrong. His investigations always lead him to a dead end, and her job at the foster home made her look like a saint. It was only when Jocelyn showed up, that things started to move slowly. She told him that Camille's main task was to keep Magnus in NY, ruin any chance of him leaving the city, in hope of his mother returning for him. 

 

His mother who took away with her the reason behind the forming of the cult, the reason Asmodeus and Valentine came together in the first place, the Herondale empire. The empire they built with the help of both men, only to find themselves left in the dust after it grew big enough. 

 

" The Herondale's hired a man named Leonardo Santi as a CEO and the first thing he did was kick both My father and Asmodeus out" Sebastian explained to a stunned Alec. The story was more complicated than how he made it to be but he didn't know many details, only Luke did. 

 

" And Leonardo was a man of color" Alec contributed to the conversation. Sebastian nodded “this is how they started, they enlisted Magnus' mother who was Leonardo's secretary to help them retrieve the files that could bring the company down along with the whole Herondales, what kind of files! I dont know, all I know the minute she had them, she disappeared” 

 

Alec took a deep breath, leaning back in his seat  " Luke broke so many rules when he arrested Magnus, he wanted me to get him out, didn't he?".

 

" You weren't supposed to be a part of this, but yes, he only wanted the press to get the news" the blonde clarified. 

 

" and the gun?" Alec asked rubbing his face " Catarina said they found it and they also found the registration paper in your apartment" he added.

 

Sebastian glanced ahead, at the car where Raphael was waiting in few meters away, he sighed and said " Cat and Raphael moved on their own and searched my apartment, they took the paper before I had the chance to place it in Steven's flat" 

 

Alec looked at him frowning " but it could lead to Magnus, I thought Luke didn't want him in jail" he questioned the blonde. 

 

“Its fake, we photoshopped the stamps and everything" Sebastian phone started buzzing, he looked at the screen and saw Luke's name, a text message with a location asking Sebastian to meet him. 

 

“I’m coming with you" Alec stated and started the engine. 

 

_What Alec and Sebastian didn't know is the car was wired, Raphael heard everything._

 

………………………………….

 

At the corner of the street, in a perfect spot to watch the scene unfold Zach and David stood observing. They were the only cult members left with no actual criminal history and the only two who can roam freely. Their plan was to get to Sebastian or Jonathan as they know him, strike a deal and save themselves. The cult was only few days away from leaving NY, the majority of the remaining members wanted to lay low even with the scandal of the leaders’ sons tainting everything they stand for.

Valentine and the minority, or the most vocal and devoted members are determined to clean the mess before they move to their new location, Asmodeus didn’t seem that fazed by it even though he said otherwise, it felt to them like he was waiting for something, or someone before he joined the party. “The Lightwood kid is going to make it harder for us to catch that jerk alone” David said.

 

“We will get our chance, we’ll stay here until they get back” Zach smiled at his friend, “I doubt he’ll leave Magnus alone for long” he turned to face David completely. The other man had a smirk on his face that only Zach knew the meaning of “and what if Jonathan refuse to help us?” David asked.

 

“Then we bring him and his boyfriend to Valentine” Zach answered with a wink that made his friend grin.

 

_It’s a win-win situation for them_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope some of the confusion is cleared, There is still so much to be explained and hopefully I'll be able to move to my main plot after two chapters. 
> 
> comments and rants make me happy, just saying,


	13. chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm hoping for this plot to be done by the next chapter.

**_4 years ago_ **

The smell of fresh coffee and what was supposed to be pancakes filled the living room, Magnus wasn’t a cook by any means but he wanted to make an effort for his boyfriend. The word itself making his heart flourish and his insides twist in that funny ticklish way. There was a point in his life where he thought love was beyond his reach, something he will always read and hear about but never experience. Love in his head was this impossible, complicated thing, full of mysteries that he didn’t believe he’ll be able to uncover. Yet here he was, at 9 in the morning making breakfast for his best friend who happened to be the love of his life. Alexander who made him see love in a different light, beautiful and easy, warm and fulfilling. Magnus wished someone explained to him how amazing it was, maybe he wouldn’t have wasted so many years being Scared.

 

Alec came into the living room dressed in sweat pants and a loose t-shirt, hair wet and messy from the shower, sharp big eyes that softened as they laid eyes on him and Magnus beamed. He didn’t believe how lucky he was to have this man fall in love with him. The fuzzy feeling in his chest spreading to his whole body and he walked automatically to meet his boyfriend half ways. Arms wrapped around the taller man’s neck, standing on his toes Magnus pecked the soft pink lips “You made breakfast?” Alec asked with a fake scared gasp. Acting insulted Magnus tried to pull away but the arms around his waist pulled him closer. “ I happen to know how to make stuff” he said blinking adorably. He found himself being kissed sweetly, adored with smiling lips and tender touches and he beamed again, _Magnus was happy._

 

“ The fact that you call them stuff freaks me out” Alec said with a goofy grin on his face, he took Magnus’ hand and walked them to the sofa. The plates were filled with pancakes, which looked nothing like what they normally do but he didn’t comment. Magnus took the first bite and his face squished into disgust but Alec pretended not to see it, he dug into his portion and ate with a smile, humming and nodding even though it tasted like 60 pounds of sugar. Magnus observed him, his heart singing at the gentleness of his boyfriend, how considerate and loving he is. Alec would never hurt him, he would never leave him, and Magnus believed he was enough.

 

He found himself snuggling closer to Alec’s side, an arm wrapped around his shoulder and his face nuzzled in the taller man’s neck. Warm lips tracing kisses all over his face, a gentle hand bringing him closer and loving words being whispered. He felt complete, alive and treasured. He felt the world was finally giving him something he always wanted and he smiled again.. A smile that reached his eyes making every cell in his body dance.

 

_Magnus was happy.._

 

………………………..

 

It was already dark when Alec and Sebastian reached the location Luke sent, they took so many turns and minor roads and were basically waiting in the car somewhere out the city borders. Alec already received two texts from Catarina informing him of Magnus’ state. She told him how restless his friend is, how he is passing left and right all over the apartment and he is totally ignoring her presence like she doesn’t exist. Alec’s phone was about to die and he hoped to get this over with and go ‘home’ to his friend soon.

They saw a car pull over next to them, it was dark but they saw Luke walk towards them. Sebastian got out first and instantly there was talking and hands gestures between the two men, Alec took a deep breath to calm his nerves and joined them.

The moment Luke saw him, he stopped talking, and giving the blonde a disapproving look. Alec wasn’t supposed to be a part of this, he made a promise to his parents to protect him and keep him safe “ Alec, I have to ask you to leave immediately”

 

Alec frowned, folding his arms around his chest “I’m not going anywhere “he said tilting his head to the side. He tried to understand how Luke had the nerve to ask him to leave after everything that he’s caused. “I already know everything so I want to know what the next step is” he added sternly.

 

Luke kept his gaze firm and commanding, he knew how stubborn Alec was and how hard it was to convince him of anything “There is nothing in it for you, it isn’t your fight”

 

Alec tapped with his foot chuckling dryly “Everything I have is in IT” he spoke loudly conveying the anger boiling in his veins. How clueless could Luke be, how did he think Alec would let Magnus burn without trying to save him. Luke knew very well what they were to each other, he knew Alec would never let his friend fall. “Magnus isn’t everything you have, Alec” Luke voice came as loud and as angry. A staring contest was happening, both of them waiting for the other to change his mind.

 

After few seconds of silence Luke sighed, knowing Alec wouldn’t back away he said “ You will stay with Magnus, help Catarina and Raphael keep him safe but you won’t be involved in anything else”. Alec didn’t react, he will be involved whether Luke liked it or not. He just stood there watching Luke scold Sebastian for killing Steven Clark too soon and Sebastian explaining how he had no choice but to act fast especially with Sara’s family on his track as well. Sebastian told the cop how Clark was indeed responsible for Sara kidnapping and handing her over to Valentine, a confession they couldn’t get out of Camille.

“ Why did you kill them? Why not arrest them? Alec asked putting a stop to the two men conversation. Luke instantly answered “ because I can’t pin anything on them, this confession we got was simply a result of man scared for his life. Camille on the other hand didn’t say a word and held a gun to my face, I had no choice but to shoot her”

 

“ but you were gonna kill her anyway” Alec pointed out and Luke smiled “ Yes, and I will kill all of them if I get the chance, that’s the least of what they deserve” Luke countered back. From the previous conversation Alec gathered Luke and Sebastian were both responsible for Camille murder, Luke killed Joseph Lance and Sebastian killed Clark. He at least felt better knowing Magnus didn’t have any blood on his hands even if he knew about the murders beforehand. He still didn’t understand how his peaceful and kind friend would be OK with that, but that’s a conversation he needed to have with Magnus himself.

 

Alec told Luke about the case he worked on where the same drug they found in Lance apartment was used. The dealer was caught but he didn’t give any information about his sources and pleaded guilty without a fight. The police there found a big sum of money was transferred to the dealer wife few days after he was charged. Alec didn’t follow the development after that because his role in the case was over. “ We should go talk to him, and the police” he concluded and Luke agreed. This could actually lead them somewhere, assuming they will find a cop in Pennsylvania who isn’t corrupted.

 

Alec sent Cat a message telling her he’s heading back home but his phone died before he was able to tell her to take care of his friend.

 

And they drove to Pennsylvania.

 

……………………………

 

Catarina read the message and sighed, glancing over to where Magnus was sitting behind his desk typing at his laptop. He’s been sitting there for two hours, focused and glued to the screen. A part of her was glad he stopped moving around like a lost puppy and the other part was worried he might pass out any second. She didn’t see him eat anything, she can tell he hasn’t slept in days and he looked as pale as a ghost. His facial hair shadowing his usually soft features and the dark circles around his eyes were turning red from exhaustion. The only words he spoke to her is “Where did Alec go” but he ignored her completely after that.  

 

“ Magnus, Alec is going back to Pennsylvania” she spoke softly, he froze for a second then continued typing what looked like codes on a black screen. He felt a sting in his eyes and a sharp cut in his chest, Alec left, he really left him. Sebastian must’ve told him everything and Magnus knew Alec wouldn’t associate himself with illegal and shady actions. He knew Alec will never forgive him for any of this, he lost the only person he has because of his own choices. The stupidity that led his decision to be a part of this whole thing in hope of proving himself, aiming to make Alec proud exploded in his face. He rubbed his eyes violently, stopping any chance of tears forming, he focused again on his laptop. The coding was all wrong and he was just typing random characters, he just needed his hands to work, his brain to focus on something other than the excruciating evil pain he felt.

 

_One mistake and the person he always loved left him.. one mistake and he was alone._

 

………………………………………………….

 

Sebastian rode with Luke, probably to avoid any more questions from Alec or to plot something that wasn’t involving him. Alec didn’t care much, he was so tired to think clearly but he knew Sebastian couldn’t be trusted. Even after admitting all of his misdeeds without a fight, Alec couldn’t trust him to tell the whole story. Something about the blonde was very suspicious, creepy even and he couldn’t comprehend how Magnus liked him in the first place. The fact he made Magnus hurt himself after getting him on drugs didn’t help his case either, and Alec will make him pay for it once he makes sure his friend is safe and out of troubles.

 

They arrived at the police station early in the morning after stopping at Alec’s apartment for a shower and change of clothes. Luke and Alec went to talk to the commissioner while Sebastian slept in the car. After hours of discussions and going through the case files, they decided to head to the state correctional institution in Pittsburg where the dealer; James Adams was prisoned. Another long drive to the already exhausted Alec.

Once they arrived, they were immediately taken to an office where James waited for them with two guards. The guy looked tough and uninterested by the visitors, Luke questions were either mocked or unanswered. After almost 30 minutes of repeating the same thing over and over, Luke gave up knowing he won’t get anything from this man. The commissioner already promised to pay James several visits until he get something useful from him, they would even offer him a deal if needed.

 

Their next stop would be to the man who transferred the money to James’ wife, an old redhead man who was serving only few months in prison. He gave them a description of the man who asked him to transfer the money, the description was already given to the police before but they couldn’t identify the person. One look at the drawing and both Sebastian and Luke recognized him as Joseph Lance, The man they already killed.

 

So with another useless trip, another setback and another dead end Luke turned to Alec “ This is how it’s been for decades, I keep running in circles so I hope to god you understand why I took things to an extreme this time”. Luke didn’t expect any compassion or understanding from the young man, after all he is hurting his other half in this whole process. He is also contradicting everything Alec stood for as a lawyer.

 

Alec seemed to be considering what the older man said, a part of him understands the desperation behind the actions, the fact Luke had no one else to trust or work beside him but then that angry part remembered Magnus and all the understanding flew away. “What’s the next step? How are you going to lure them out?’ He said ignoring the cop’s earlier statement.

 

“One of the numbers we retrieved from Lance’s phone has been making calls from the radius of Magnus’ area, they are close.” Sebastian answered. They’ve been trying to break through that number for two months, all they were able to do is to trace the approximate location but they couldn’t listen to the calls, yet. Although Sebastian was busy plotting a murder, he hoped Magnus’ was still trying.

 

“You aren’t using Magnus as a bait, give me an actual plan or I Swear to god ... “Alec threatened but Luke cut him off calmly “They aren’t stupid, they won’t drive themselves into a death trap”

 

“What is the plan then?” Alec asked again impatiently but the look on the older man said two things. He either doesn’t have a plan or doesn’t want to share it yet.

 

……………………………………….

 

After the useless trip to Pennsylvania Alec reached Magnus’ building late at night, tired, exhausted and drained. He had Sebastian with him but he wasn’t going to drop him at his place, he thought the blonde deserved to walk through the cold freezing night. Before he headed towards the stairs Alec remembered something, he turned around to face the blonde’s back “Sebastian “he called and the blonde turned.

 

Alec took few steps towards him, placing his bag on the ground and hiding his hands in his pockets “ Did you notice anything strange about Magnus lately?”

 

Sebastian narrowed his eyes and blew some air out “ uhm he has been acting different after the Lance’s murder, distant and lost in his own head”

Alec nodded slightly as if to say that’s understandable “but nothing else? “He asked again. After all, Sebastian was supposed to be Magnus’ boyfriend even if it turned out to be a fake relationship, from what Alec gathered.

 

“One time, he said he was sorry for not being intimate with me and that I don’t have to stay with him” Sebastian answered and it didn’t sound weird or strange to Alec. He knew his friend has never been intimate with anyone else, that all his relationship ended because of this specific issue. “When I told him that we were, multiple times, he accused me of lying and freaked out” the blonde added.

The tension Alec felt in his body was strong enough to break him into pieces. He clenched his jaw shaking his head trying to stomach the information. “You slept with him?” he asked gritting his teeth and Sebastian just shrugged dumbfounded, he didn’t think it was a secret he should hide from the taller man.

 

“ When he was drugged?” Alec asked again.

 

“ What!! No, we were sort of dating, I cared for him you know” but Sebastian didn’t even notice Alec’s reaction because a fist was slammed into his face followed by another one knocking him down on the concrete sidewalk. He groaned in pain, touching his nose to find streams of blood falling through his mouth and chin “ What the hell” he tried to get up but a foot kicked him in the side making curl into a ball and another kick made him scream in agony.

 

All he could feel is piercing angry eyes staring at him, heavy breaths hovering above him and a “ he trusted you “ said into the quiet night before the sound of hurried footsteps leaving him behind and running towards the building door.

 

……………………….

 

The second Alec reached the apartment door it swung open, Catarina pulled him inside immediately gestured for him to keep his voice down. He looked around and didn’t see his friend in the living room or the kitchen. “ He is going nuts, he didn’t eat or sleep, he didn’t talk to me and walked around like I’m not there” she whispered sadly.

 

“ where is he?” Alec asked in an equal low voice. “ In his room, I heard the shower running like 4 times todays” she answered. Alec rubbed his face sighing, he didn’t have much energy left in him and he was thankful Catarina didn’t ask him about his bruised knuckles. The door to Magnus’ bedroom opened and he barged out, only to stand freezing when he saw Alec in the doorway. His hair is wet dripping over his shirt which was worn outside out, golden paled eyes looking directly at his soul. Alec told Cat to leave, and closed the door behind her. He turned his back to Magnus and started going through his bag, he took a screw driver and some equipment’s and started working on changing the door knob.

 

All the time he worked he could still feel his friend standing in the same spot, he didn’t move or say a word. When he was done, he stood up carrying one key in his hand and keeping the other one in the knob. He walked to his friend with an open palm, “you have the choice now on whom gets to come to your place”. Magnus looked at the key, puzzled and confused then looked slowly at his friend “You don’t want one?” he asked quietly. Sad, doubtful eyes wondering if Alec wanted to leave and never come back. Why would he give him the key if he didn’t want to leave, why did he come back in the first place!.

 

“ I only want what you want, Magnus” Alec softly spoke to his distressed friend. He hoped Magnus could see it in his eyes how much he loved him, how much he cared. He hoped Magnus would trust him again, trust him completely like he once did.

 

And Magnus’ heart was a loud mess, he searched his friend’s eyes for the anger or the hate he saw two days before. He searched for despise and mistrust, he looked for disappointment and pity but all he found is the same loving hazel eyes he knew all of his life. The same eyes that always loved him and protected him. The same face that lights up at his sight, the same body that always hugged him and comforted him. His eyes stung _again_ , his hand rubbing his wrist _again_ , he felt lost.. _Again_. Alec hated him, he left, he went back home.. He left without goodbye and let him deal with his demons alone. “Why did you come back? You forgot something to shout at me about!” he asked weakly, feeling a hot tear sneak out from his itchy eyes. He knew Alec would shout again, probably at something he discovered from Sebastian or because he remembered something to scold Magnus about..

 

Alec reached to his friend’s wrist, where the bracelet used to be, the same wrist he saw his friend rub at nervously for days.. He planted a soft kiss over the same spot that was red and swollen, he felt his eyes water at how his friend was shaking and trembling from a small touch. “I’m done shouting, I’m done being angry, I just want you to be OK” he said in a small voice. Placing Magnus’ hand over his heart, he brought his friend closer by the waist “I’m here to stay, if you’ll let me” he spoke between the small space between their faces. Letting his tears finally fall after weeks of repressing all of his human emotions.

 

Magnus clutched his friend’s shirt in one hand and wrapped the other around the taller man’s neck, resting their foreheads together. He felt so weak, so drained and aching all over. Every sane part of his brain wanted Alec away from this, from him but every vein in his heart is begging for Alec to stay. “ I thought you left, went back to your world” every word vibrating with the sadness he felt. Opening his teary eyes to look at the taller man, he was looking for reassurance, for a certainty in whatever his friend would say next. He wanted to feel enough _again_ , to matter to his Alexander even when deep inside he knew he doesn’t deserve anything anymore.

 

Alec closed the distance between them, wrapping his friend in a tight body embrace. Inhaling the fresh scent of sandalwood that he always craved. Stroking the tense muscles of the tanned man’s back with gentle fingers. His heart breaking at the way his friend was holding on to him, how he is attaching his whole being to him. Feeling the tears wetting his own shoulder just like his own were falling on Magnus’ “ I don’t want the world, I never wanted the world, I want you” and he felt how his friend let himself go, how his quiet tears became actual sobs, how he dug his fingers harshly into Alec’s body and how he shook against him.

And Magnus might’ve not seen Alec’s eyes when he spoke, but he felt the words, he felt the sincerity behind every letter, like he always did when his friend spoke. He didn’t know when he stopped believing in his friend’s love or why, he didn’t know how he let himself doubt what Alec has proven to him repeatedly. He broke down because of how lost he felt, how scared and weak he was, for not knowing what is real and what’s not. The only thing he knew at the moment, was the man holding him tight is the only one who can pull him through. End the darkness and spread the light, and Magnus held on, he held on with every ounce of strength he had left.

 

………………………..

 

Wrapping his arms around himself, dragging his legs painfully in the dead freezing silence, Sebastian whole world was spinning. He just wanted to reach his place and sleep for weeks, not see or talk to a soul. Walking a street after street, feeling the blood dry on his face and his side burning with pain, he didn’t know what he did wrong to deserve a beating. Yes he drugged Magnus, yes he got him to commit suicide but why is having sex with him, drove Alec over the edge.

 

‘He trusted you’ kept echoing in his head, he knew Magnus trusted him on some level and he broke that trust. He knew what he did was wrong but he believed he was helping the man keep his life. He rounded into a small street drowned in his thoughts when he felt two pairs of hands push him against a wall. The panic in his chest raising a new high, he was turned around then pushed back against the same wall. Two men stood in front of him smiling..

 

“Hello, Jonathan”.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> should I post another chapter before Christmas? would anyone actually read ? We don't celebrate it here so I'm gonna keep on writing anyway.
> 
> Love you all, you make my day everytime I post an update, Thank you.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I know its been months since I updated. A car accident happened and I lost three family members, it was awful months but I'm kinda better now and back to writing to keep myself occupied with something I love.
> 
> I apologize for all of you, I know I kept you waiting for so long, I'm sorry. 
> 
> this chapter is mainly Malec centered.

“ Hello Jonathan “

 

Two faces were so close to him, eyeing him smugly as if they achieved a victory by pinning him to the wall. The cold freezing air created a fog out of their breathing, they looked young, maybe few years younger than him. One of them was holding a gun while the other was using his two hands to keep Sebastian pressed to the wall. “ We have something you want, and we want something you have” Zach Spoke breaking the silence.

 

Sebastian stayed silent, keeping eye contact with Zach, not because he spoke first but because he was holding a gun so close to his chest. He didn’t struggle to get free or make any gesture to show he is interested in the offer, he noticed how the other guy kept looking at his partner as to tell him to say something. Getting frustrated Zach spoke again “ I thought you wanted your girlfriend back” and the blonde flinched slightly at the mention of Sara but he still refused to speak.

 

“ We will bring her to your door if you can get your cop friend to give us immunity “ David spoke nervously which made Sebastian shift his eyes to him. He took a deep breath looking between the two men “ Why would I even trust you? And who the hell are you? “He asked calmly.

 

“ Take this phone, we will call you tomorrow to meet” Zach stuck the phone to Sebastian chest and he took it. Zach gestured to his friend to take a step back and let the blonde stand straight. “ we work for your father, and now move” he nudged Sebastian shoulder with the tip of his gun, telling him to get going.

 

_And Sebastian ran towards his home._

 

……………………………………..

 

Alec doesn’t even know how long they’ve been standing there, holding each other in the middle of the living room. He doesn’t remember when his tears stopped falling, or when they stopped talking, all he knows is that he doesn’t want to let go. He can feel how his friend is clinging to him, still wrapped tightly in his arms, he can feel the fingers that gripped a hold of his shirt an hour ago still there. His friend, his love was breathing deeply against his neck, supporting his whole weight against Alec’s body. Alec moved his hands gently from the smaller man’s waist to his back, tracing the tensed muscles and drawing circles trying to ease some of them out.

 

Moving his head slightly to brush his lips against Magnus’ temple, leaving a soft kiss close to his hairline “ let me take you to bed” whispering the words softly. Magnus nodded against his neck “did you eat anything?” he asked before lifting his head to meet the taller man’s eyes. Alec smiled, not only because his friend is worried about his well-being but because Magnus was smiling too. It might’ve been a tired, full of fake strength smile but he missed it, he missed that face more than anything in the world.

 

He could see the traces of tears, the sleepless nights and the lack of nutrition all evident and clear in his friend’s face. He can see the fear and doubts, the surfacing insecurities and silent pleads in his eyes. He knows this man more than he knows himself and yet, he missed the signs, he misread the situation and jumped to conclusions, Alec blamed himself, when it came to Magnus he always blamed himself.

 

The gentle fingers moving around his neck brought him back to reality, to the man standing so close to him with waiting eyes, and he leaned down by instinct capturing his lips in a deep long waited for kiss. It wasn’t sexual, it wasn’t raw desire that drove him to do this, it was love, reassurance and a promise to never let go. He tightened his arms around his friend’s back, pulling him closer if that was even possible deepening the kiss as much as he could. He felt his friend’s fingers dig into his head, urging him to keep going, urging him to keep touching him and Alec understood, he always does.

 

Alec kissed him like he never kissed him before, putting all of his buried feelings into it. Feeling every fiber in his friend’s melt and submit to his touches, telling him how much he needed this, how much he craved this and it broke Alec’s into pieces. He pulled back to catch his breath, opening his eyes slowly to look at his friend, who had his eyes closed and his head bowed down and it shattered Alec even more. He traced his fingers along Magnus’ jawline, up to his pale cheeks, around his eyes “ God I missed you” he whispered before placing a kiss on the smaller man nose.

Magnus breath stopped in his chest when he felt the soft light kisses being planted all over his face. The loving intimate gesture that he would only accept and feel from _his_ Alexander. He remembered how secure and safe he always felt around his friend, how loved and treasured he was, and he truly needed to feel that again. He longed to feel normal not that he knew what that felt like, but he wanted to be _normal._ He opened his mouth to say something, anything to tell Alec he’ll be able to fix this and make things right but Alec’s finger shushed him “No talking about anything tonight, you need to eat and sleep and I’ll take care of you” the taller man said.

 

They heated up some of the food Catarina ordered before, Magnus barely ate and the only bites he took were forced fed by Alec. Although he did drink a lot of water, he didn’t realize how thirsty and dehydrated he was until Alec held the bottle in front of his face. They left the food on the table and went to the bedroom, the room Magnus didn’t want to be in but he wasn’t gonna let that show. He knew how tired _his friend_ was and it was so late in the night for this type of a conversation. He sat on the edge of the bed while Alec changed into something comfy, looking down at the carpet where the traces of his blood still visible after he scrubbed them for hours.

Alec turned the lights off and walked to his side of the bed, getting under the covers and nudging his friend’s with his toe playfully. Magnus turned around and crawled under the covers until his head popped out next to Alec’s shoulder, Alec rolled his eyes suppressing a yawn “ That’s not how normal people climb into beds”.

 

Magnus shook his head lightly “ when was I ever normal” he responded before snuggling closer to his friend. Even though it was meant as a joke both of them knew it held some truth to it. Alec wrapped his arm around Magnus making him put his head on his chest, his fingers gently stroking his hair and massaging his scalp. They laid there in silence, each lost in his own thoughts, and each one of them has a lot to say but respecting these moments of temporarily peace.

 

_Alec fell asleep but Magnus didn’t._

_…………………………………._

“ I can hear your thinking “ Catarina spoke after noticing how silent Raphael has been. He looked distressed and angry, which wasn’t unusual for him but she knew the young man really well to know something was really bothering him. He turned toward her and asked “ How much do you trust Luke?”

 

She took a moment to understand where was this coming from, after all she knew Luke was a good guy even if she didn’t agree with some of his tactics “ What is this about ?” she asked.

 

Raphael told her about everything he heard from Alec’s and Sebastian’s conversation, what the blonde did and how Luke knew about single detail, how he actually planned the whole thing and left them in the dark. “ It’s a death trap, Cat! This plan is so flawed that the only outcome I see happening is Magnus losing his life for nothing” he concluded bitterly.

 

Cat held her hand to her chest trying to calm herself down, she didn’t what freaked her out more, the fact that Luke would do this to an innocent troubled man or the fact she believed the outcome Raphael was talking about “what do you have in mind?”

 

Raphael had a determined look in his eyes, he set his mind on what to do and she knew she wouldn’t be able to stop him, she can only help “We get Magnus out of here, far away from all of this”.

 

………………………………….

The sunlight was already creeping through the dark curtains, Alec was snoring softly and Magnus tried his best not to make any move that will cause his friend to wake up. He closed and opened his eyes a million times, he tried to sleep but his brain was buzzing, his head was killing him. He tried to focus on the good things, the sweet memories to chase the haunting thoughts away but he failed. He tried so hard to keep listening to his friend’s heartbeat to calm himself down but it didn’t work. After another hour he decided to get up, moving carefully not to disturb his friend.

 

Out in the living room he rubbed his eyes harshly, looking at the counter where the coffee machine stood, he needed some caffeine but his heart was already beating faster than it should. He sat behind his desk and opened his laptop, started typing and trying to track that number again. Nothing will make time pass like trying to decipher some digits, and he didn’t even why he wanted time to pass, it isn’t like something good was waiting for him anyway.

 

Hours passed, and he was still trying, still focused with all the energy that is left in him on the screen. He didn’t even realize how strong the sun was which indicates it was already noon, he didn’t even notice Alec standing behind him for almost ten minutes observing him closely. Until a hand touched his shoulder and he flinched harshly “Hey “Alec spoke with frowned eyebrows.

 

“ I’m sorry, I didn’t see you there “

 

“ You couldn’t sleep? “ Alec asked

 

Magnus shook his head, his eyes looked smaller, the circles around them turning purplish and his face looked as pale as a man of skin color could possibly look. Alec took his arm making him stand up, which turned out to be a bad move as Magnus lost his balance immediately. Finding himself supported by Alec’s strong arms and walked down to the couch. Alec brought a cup of juice and forced him to drink it. “ why didn’t you wake me up, why do you keep insisting on doing this by yourself?” he asked a bit frustrated.

 

Magnus feeling the anger starting to build up in his friend again, after last night he though Alec will try to control it. But he knew his friend had anger management issues, and he was making it worse by everything he did, everything he still does. So he decided to speak, get some of the things out in the open, maybe Alec will calm down a bit “ I don’t know what I’m doing anymore, I don’t even know it got this complicated” he spoke looking down at his hands. When he felt Alec’s eyes on him he took a deep breath and continued.

 

“ I lived most of my fantasies in my head, I planned and implemented my failed dreams in my head .. and I lived there” he chuckled bitterly pointing to his brain. “ but I always knew they were just thoughts, Alec. I knew they weren’t real. I created a better world for myself to get myself through my daily struggle, a world where I’m a successful lawyer, where I’m surrounded by a family that wanted me and loved me, a world where strangers don’t follow me around, where I play soccer in the weekend with my friends, a world where you and I are together ...” his voice shook and his whole body did too. He felt Alec’s hand on his shoulder squeezing, reassuring him that whatever he says next won’t change a thing.

 

He took a deep breath and continued “ a world where I didn’t have an abusive father and a coward mother who abandoned me, I .. I don’t think .. I don’t think I know what’s real or what’s not now” he rubbed his wrist against his thigh nervously, biting his bottom lip harshly it almost bled. Alec fingers nudged his face towards him and he was met with intense focused eyes “ What are you saying?” Alec spoke carefully.

 

_“ I think I’m going crazy, Alexander”_

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know what you think and also what you want to read please ..


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